I don't even know where to begin. My BIL is the worst person on the planet. He's absolutely horrible. I know his parents didn't raise him to be the way he is (and I know his father would be really disappointed with how he acts, when FIL was still alive he told me he never thought it was possible for him to hate one of his children but he hated this one).
BIL is a jerk in general. He's rude, disrespectful and hateful towards everyone. There have been things in the past that he has said to me (specifically) that have almost turned me into the Hulk. For example, about a year ago I was outside planting some flowers, I had put on a sundress because it was super hot outside and even shorts were too warm. BIL came over to talk to DH about something and asked me if I was pregnant (I have to admit the sundress wasn't greatly flattering, but I did NOT look pregnant) I said no and BIL says "Guess you're just a cow then". DH said nothing at that time, and has never once told BIL to leave or stop with the commentary. I, on the other hand, have frequently asked BIL to leave (when at our house) or to shut his trap or to &^%# off, to no avail, he'd just laugh me off and continue.
Well, last night, it all came to a head. BIL came over to brag about the new carpet he is getting. Our house is messy right now because DH and I have been super busy trying to find DH a new job and for me to find a second one. This is what BIL says to DH:

"Looks like you need to put a leash on your n***** b****, give the whore some chores."

I was appalled and told BIL to stfu or leave and that just because he treats his wife like shit and makes her do everything while he sits on his lazy ass does not mean he can come and disrespect me. Of course, he laughed and continued talking to DH.
Somehow they got on the subject of my SIL (she doesn't talk to BIL either and hasn't spoken to or seen him in 10+ years, she hates him). She had just bought a motorcycle. BIL wanted to know where she got the money to afford it. DH told BIL that SIL bought the motorcycle after selling her exhusband's boat (she got a boat and RV in the divorce). BIL wanted to know WHY she bought it, well DH made the mistake of letting BIL know that SIL has leukemia (found out about 1.5-2 months ago) and she always wanted a Harley and wanted to do it before she became too weak, or worse. This is what BIL said:

"Someone like HER deserves it though. Stupid c*** doesn't have any sense in her."

I was furious and told him to leave. I actually think I may have screamed it while holding a butter knife, which probably gave me more power in that moment (even though all I was doing was buttering a piece of bread).

BIL and DH went on the back porch and after a short while, they apparently went over to BIL's house (about 3 blocks away). DH came home later and I was angry, in tears, shaking angry. I told DH that I had tried to stick up for myself for long enough and it was high time he say something to his brother about how he treats me, especially in OUR HOME. I told DH that BIL is NOT allowed IN our home or ON our property. I said that by allowing BIL to come into our house and continually disrespect me, that he (DH) is disrespecting me.

So in anger, DH called BIL and told him to not come to our house anymore and that he is not to disrespect me. BILs response?

"So what, you are going to let a little f****** b**** control you? Kick her a** out."

DH hung up on him and about 10 minutes later BIL texts DH and tells him that he'd better pay off the personal loan BIL cosigned on (I was unaware of this until last night) or BIL will get a lawyer to come after us. Luckily, having worked in banking (around here and at the bank in question) there is nothing BIL can do. Since he signed the dotted line, he is just as much responsible as DH is and he cannot take himself off the loan.

So now BIL has threatened to have us 'removed' from our community (we live in a mobile home park). Fortunately, there is nothing we have done to have cause for a removal, but BIL has. Anyone with a felony or housing a felon is to be promptly removed from the park (it is in the rules), BIL's 19 yr old son moved back in with him and has 5 felonies on his record. So DH told BIL that trying that tactic would just get himself removed.

I am just so tired and worn out over all the crap last night. I can't believe how damn awful BIL is! And part of me wonders what other tricks he is going to pull. On the other hand, DH is still mad at me for 'disrupting his relationship with his brother'. WTF? Seriously!? HE WAS TREATING ME LIKE CRAP! Ugh... I don't know what to do, all I WANT to do is take a Xanax and sleep. I feel like a cat caught in barbed wire.