Help with stepkids that hate u!
I am new to this site (joined) today, so I am trying to get the hang of it still don't get some of the abbreviated words (lol)..
Anyways I have 2 ss 8 and 11, which totally hate me! i have been with my boyfriend now father of ss almost 4 yrs, the ex wife & I have had horrible issues & verbal arguments in the past, due to her being a bit psychotic, she has been married 2 some1 else for years now, but when bf & I started dating & moved in together, she would constantly call & cause problems ("one of those women"), so anyways she has been a REALLY poor parent these kids have absolutely NO manners whatsoever. ss11 has some kind of so called condition where he is antisocial & just is PLAIN RUDE 2 people, I dont think it's a condition I think his butt needs 2 be taught some manner, and ss8 has some kind of very mild autisim, so they say, but he acts more like he has adhd, is very spoiled & he is one of those kids u c @ a store asking their parent 100 times OVER & OVER 4 the same thing in a time frame of 2 minutes!
They are also very malnutritioned, so bm & I had it out once about that to, well ever since bm & I last argued over a yr ago, the ss were told by her to act up in our house, this has been already resolved, however, I have chosen to simply barely even speak to them when they are @ our house, they visit every other wknd & sleepover & I just DREAD these wknds bc they are just so misbehaved they act like caged animals, its so bad we just stopped even taking them out to places..
Now my dilema is that my bf & I & my kids go to Disney every 1-2 mths, & he keeps telling me he would like to take his kids @ least once, he said he wouldn't take the 1 who is antisocial bc he hates everything & would complain but I don't think thats true & I really DONT think I can handle a trip with any of my ss, even tho my bf deals with my kids, we have 2 kids 2gther and i have 2 from previous marriage...also we have been planning a move out of state for about a yr now or 250 miles away from our current city, but 4 some reason I keep getting excuses from my bf & I really think he doesn't want to bc of his kids & I REALLY REALLY want 2 leave this city, so I am contemplating moving away & leaving him! someone pls help!! some advise any help???
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Comments
He's been here all along, he
He's been here all along, he has had it out with her a few times also. You know i did suggest that he take them by himself & make it a wknd of them spending time together & we had an argument, he said I just hated his kids etc...technically it's not hate it's the simple fact that we have 2 babies right now 7mths and 23ths, plus I have 2 older kids, so on these trips I need all the help I can get, but my ss8 is the NEEDIEST kid ever, its HORRIBLE every 2 min he is asking my dh for something, so I think I will literally tear my hair and ears out if I have to hear him & put up with that in a theme park, plus what about our babies? I did tell him about the moving part, and I advised him I was at my last straw either he is coming or I am leaving with the kids, I think he is stalling
Yeah, talk to him. In a
Yeah, talk to him. In a relationship, aside from love and money, communication is a key factor to make your relationship work. You have to tell what your feelings are. He needs to listen to your arguments so that you can make solutions for your problems because these kids will not be going away and is going to be a part of your lives as partners so you got to have a way to that.
kids should NOT be rewarded
kids should NOT be rewarded for poor or bad behaviour, they need to "earn" a trip to DISNEY with GOOD behavior.
So make a deal with the steps...that IF they behave they will get to go to DISNEY and have them mark the date, so they can see it.
each date have them write their behavior down daily with you or DH when they get so many GOOD BEHAVIORS they WIN a trip to disney!!