I make absolutely no judgments whatsoever. There are a jumble of posts all across the board, and on that particular day I was searching specifically for "I love my step-kids" because I was feeling loving towards mine and wanted to find like minds at that time instead of what I was sifting through, which was step-parents venting about how much they dislike their step-kids or the way their step-kids treat them. I just wanted some positivity.

Bygones. Move on. Leave it behind. Let go. Make lemonade out of lemons. Walk it off. Laugh instead. Change what you can, accept what you can't.

How many other ways can one say, "Life is too short!"

I urge you to do the same thing I did yesterday when I was feeling loving towards my step-kids and wanted to read posts by others who were feeling the same way - put "I love my step-kids" into the search box and see what you get. There are 2 posts that include that phrase. There are 32 with the phrase "I love my skids" There are 9 with "I love my ss" and 10 with "I love my sd".

A total of 53 posts proclaiming love for step-children out of 4,920 available at this time.

I guess it -is- hard to find people who actually say they love their step-children.

And frankly, I can't answer your question about why people put themselves through this. It could be for any number of reasons, and not all of them are out of love. Some get jumbled into the custody/step-parenting process out of a need for control, some out of simply having to deal with it because they want to be with their husband, some because they are codependent, others because they secretly crave the drama, some because they have no choice and sure, I'm sure there are quite a few of us who genuinely love their step-kids and want the best for them.

More than likely for ALL of us, it's a bit of all of the above.

So, really...I find it surprising that considering that people on this board are putting up with all of this and going through with all of this all the time, when it really comes down to it, you would think there would be more talk about the individuals we are actually doing it FOR -- the step-children. Of course people have the right to vent, I'm just stating the facts -- I did a search for support and I didn't find it.

Listen, my step-sons' biomom stayed with us, in our home, for a month in February, and she just threw us for a loop yesterday by stating that she's coming back again, on the 3rd of May, a month earlier than usually stated, to stay with us again for a month. She sleeps on a futon in the boys' bedroom.

There's not a single person I have EVER met who says that they would put up with their husband's ex-wife living in their home for a month, or three as it was in the previous four years. We don't have a choice, as she's paranoid schizo. At least not until the new parenting plan order is finalized and I can tell her to stay elsewhere with legal recourse if her boat gets rocked.

So, your indignity is completely lost on me but kudos for standing up for step-parents everywhere -- I know we are vilified and often need the protection. At the same time, I certainly expected more from a fellow step-parent who realizes how easy a slip of the tongue is in this world.