I refuse to the the Step girls any b/c they can't even follow the basic house rules.

How about give each chore a money value that will equal up to $50 a month and make him keep a check book register to follow if he's doing enough to pay for his phone. Then if he does more than he needs to he could use the extra time the following month and take a day off to goof off with his friends.

Don't fear the thorns among the Roses, but be greatful for the Roses among the thorns

He probably does do more chores at his mom's house if he is pushed to do so, but at the same time he lives there instead of being a visitor. It appears that he has not been doing any chores in the past and now you want him to do a lot. You two need to make a list of your priorities and you put your 2 at the top and he can put 2 at the top. In one month if he still has the phone you can each add 1 more until finally both of you are getting what you want. We all survive through compromise and everybody gets something that they want.

But expecting him to do it without being reminded is probably still a stretch. You know how kids are. What you described is pretty much what we have our 10.5 yo son do for his prepaid cell phone, but it's not $50/mo. I buy him $25 worth of minutes a month and if he goes over, then he doesn't talk until the next month. He has most of the same chores you listed, but he doesn't just automatically do them. I keep a chart on the fridge of which chore(s) he has to do for each day of the week. It's laminated and he checks each day off with a dry-erase marker when he completes his chores. The plan is to see how he does and when he's demonstrated responsibility, we'll add a line to our plan and get him a cool phone with texting, etc. We got off to a rough start, though, because he fell in the pond right after he got it and ruined the first phone. But he bought a replacement with his own money and now puts his phone in a ziploc bag before he goes to the pond! As long as your DH agrees to implement all the chores in the very near future, then I'd let him have his way on working up to them.

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ANNE 8102 ♥ GEORGIA

Why is your husband reluctant to give him your list of chores? Why does DH believe the boy should only have a few to do at first? What constitutes "at first"? Who is cleaning his room now, putting his laundry away, and cleaning his pets' cages? The things you're asking for are what he *should* be doing NOW.

I'm with you on this one. Considering the amount of time he spends at your house, the chores you have in mind are completely reasonable, especially cleaning the animals' cages since they were specifically bought for him. Cleaning up after himself is just common courtesy and what every child should be doing from a young age. I make my 2-1/2 y.o. niece clean up her own toys before she leaves my house. He's not a hotel guest when he visits (or does DH treat him like one) so there's no reason why he shouldn't be cleaning his room, putting away his laundry, making his bed, and straightening up before he leaves.

I was amazed to find this out, for all those who are doing the first time cell thing and have U.S. cellular- I was checking into getting our Bio son his first cell(he is only 10, but I like him to have one for when he is at friends houses - not growing out of his ear) so while at the store I was inquiring as to the cost of their prepay program and the nice women then told me it would be cheaper to have son use one of our old phones pay a $30 activation fee and run it with our plan as a month to month(in case it proves to be a bad idea we don't want to add it to contract) for ten dollars a month and still share our minutes(we never even meet ours with the free incoming and all that)- its alot cheaper than their actual prepay program where I would have to buy time monthly regardless of wether or not he used the time...
It will also be alot cheaper than when we had SD on prepay.

our son has to keep his room picked up(he's 10), clean his cats litter box, keep track of its food, bring down laundry, occassionally clean out the puppy mess(2 labs)(if my list is too long- we try to do it every couple of days), take out trash- he is getting better about doing it without being told as often, but I think its fair.

There is no reason where logic does not exist

has no chores whatsoever in our house and runs out of prepaid minutes all the time and has no money to buy more. correction: no money that HE wants to spend. needless to say, we don't buy him anymore minutes and his phone sits there unused.

Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.

that under the age of 14 is too young to have a cell phone. children that young are still learning and struggling to understand responsibility and a cell phone comes with alot of responsibility. firstly, don't lose it, break it, lend it or abuse it. secondly, make money to keep it. this is ALOT to ask from a young kid. having said all this, i support cell phones if you have them ONLY in case of an emergency. meaning: kids can only call certain numbers (ie. parents, grandparents) and can only accept certain incoming calls. don't forget that cell phones also pose a bit of a 'status' issue among these kids in school. and from what i know and remember, kids are cruel enough never mind having an expensive piece of electronics to lord over the heads of their peers.

sorry, i didn't want to offend, just really don't like the issue of cell phones for young kids. ESPECIALLY with texting capabilities. a friend of mine found sexually explicit texts on her son's cell and this opened up a huge can of worms. too young i say. too young.

Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.

Unknown, I completely agree, however I believe that no child under the age of 16 should have a cell phone. I just don't think that kids that age are mature enough or responsible enough to take care of the phone or to keep track of their minutes. I also believe that they should have jobs in order to pay for their phones.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

I really don't think kids should have cell phones. Yes, yes, yes I just gave SD11 a cell phone! That was for my own purpose...so BM will not call my home number anymore, but SD doesn't need to know that. The phone stays at our house and has it's own specific rules.

Why can't the cell phone be it's own lesson? You didn't buy it for him to teach him how to work, earn money, or pay bills. You didn't buy it expecting him to pay for it. You bought it for him because his sister had one. Let the lesson and responsibility come into play with keeping the phone in working order, keeping the phone and not losing it, and only using it in the manner you approve of...ie: not calling anyone in the middle of the night, calling friends you don't apporve of, etc.

Having a kid do chores is a task that is related to the working order of a home. It should not have a money value put to it. Along with my feelings of the cell phone being it's own learning opp., chores are a way to let the kid know that he is a part of the family machine and he needs to do his part or the machine stops working. Picking up dog-poop has nothing to do with how well he's is going to treat his belongings or how much he is going to aprreciate it when someone else picks up the poop. For a kid it's all unrelated. Make the the privledge or the punishment as closely related as possible. Having a cell phone and then losing it because of something related to the phone is reaonable and sensible punishment. Not picking up poop and loosing your cell phone or video games are not related subjects. Not feeding the dog and then not being able to eat dinner yourself would relate. You take care of the animal that can't take care of itself first and we'll meet you at the table when you are done. He will live the 5 minutes it takes to feed the dog before he gets dinner himself.

OK, I know HARSH! How do you think I got the name Wicked? ; )