This happened a few years ago and when I think about it I still get very upset. This when we first were married and I didn't know his family very well. Should I just get over it or what?

My DH's 8 year old nephew had been battling a terminal disease for most of his life. DH was not particularly close with this nephew. I had met him a few times.

When the newphew passed my DH called SD (and SS I guess but they actually never talk. He just calls SD) who was 10 I think at the time. Her reaction was to begin crying and asked if she was going to die too. There is nothing medically wrong with her and she is not learning disabled or anything so I am not sure why she thought that. SD was not close with the nephew, her cousin either. My husband assured her she wasn't dying and she stopped crying. He told her about the funeral.

I got dressed in my most conservative black dress and heels and rode with my husband to the funeral. We arrived and I said hello to my husband's sister who was sitting right up front. She remained seated and said hello. My husband and I made our way towards the parents of the nephew. I gave them a painting I had done for the newphew and they put it in his casket.

Then my husband's ex wife came in with her new husband and the two skids. I was kind of surprised to see them there since they lived in another state and the ex hadn't been close with my husband's family. My DH went over to the SD and commented how beautiful she looked and that she had actually dressed like a girl for once. (Whole 'nother story). My sister in law (the one that had cooly responded to my greeting when we arrived) jumped up and hugged all over the ex wife like they were best pals. Blech.

So then we sit down towards the back and the funeral stuff starts. DH's neice got up and spoke about her younger brother and read a poem she had written. I got teary eyed. My husband looked over at me and angrily asked me, "Why are you crying? You didn't even know him." It shocked me and my tears dried right up. He didn't cry. Which is fine.

We exited the church and my father in law pulled me aside and said my mother in law didn't want to be near me or ride with me in a car although originally the plan was for me to ride to the cemetary with them. She and my DH were not on speaking terms at the time. It kind of hurt my feelings. But whatever. I said all right.

My husband drove to the cemetary without me. I don't remember the reasoning for that. I found my DH's grandparents and asked if they would mind taking me to the cemetary. They initally said no because they were taking someone else, an aunt or something. The aunt spoke up and said it was all right. So I rode down with them. It didn't really occur to me at the time to be bothered that my husband hadn't made arrangments for me to get to the cemetary.

I made it to the cemetary with the grandparents and aunt or whoever. Ex wife and the skids also showed up. During the burial my husband wasn't with me. He hung out by the skids. Afterwards I looked around and couldn't immediately find him. I didn't feel too worried about it. But then people started leaving to go back to the church to eat. The grandparents had snaked away at some point during the burial. I didn't have a way to get back to the church and started feeling a bit silly, panicky, etc.

The thought crossed my mind to ask the ex, one of the only people at the funeral I actually knew, for a ride but she had also already left.

Then I saw the grandparents driving away. I actually ran after the car. They stopped and let me in. I of course felt a little embarassed. I said thank you to them.

I got to the church and there my husband was sitting at a table with the skids already eating. Okay. No big deal. I went over there and the skids are positively gleeful that they "got to ride in a limo." My DH pretty much ignored me.

I didn't bring anything up then. I get it. I'm the adult. This was a kid's funeral. It wasn't really my family. There was already family issues that didn't involve me.

Later we got home and I brought it up to my husband that I was sad that he pretty much just left me alone at a funeral where I didn't know anyone, and the people that I did know either didn't want to talk to me or hung all over his ex. He jumped all over my ass because it was a KID'S FUNERAL and I'M THE ADULT.

Should I just get over it? This isn't like, the only thing that's ever happened. This is just one snapshot from a marriage full of being ignored, undermined, put last. It's just one of the moments that stands out in my mind as a particularly hurtful event. I mean, our wedding was totally wrecked by his ex wife, SD, and DH's complete inablilty to stand up for me.

Am I being the selfish one? Am I completely unreasonable in feeling upset? I'm doubting myself anymore.