Well I have come to terms with letting go of some control over everything.  Meaning...I have slowly been making changes.  Not saying they are right or wrong but they seem to be working for me a little.  I do try avoidance whenever I can.  But when that is impossible instead of me saying something to my SS10 myself...so he doesn't think I'm picking on him... I simply ask my husband to. I mean - not if SS is directly in front of my face but if it's something I can be like..Oh DH can you please ask why your son isn't wearing any shoes out in the back yard (where there is dog poop residue everywhere and he knows to wear shoes out there - we have 5 dogs so there is always something icky out there no matter what)..DH gets the point and then deals with it. Or could you please ask your son to do this .... etc. For me I'm trying to make my DH realize things and for him to be more aware on his own. 

Mind you - I'm having to treat my DH like a child a lot too. When he doesn't do something that seems pretty common sense to me I ask him if he could please do ___ whatever it is. I know he knows my point.  I have realized he had lack of parenting growing up too.  But I do not want to be with a 40 year old child so I am hoping he can adjust to becoming a real live adult soon. Otherwise this whole step parenting thing isn't going to matter. 

I will do laundry...but I am done turning clothes from inside out back to the correct way.  So my SS will find that out when he gets over tonight.  He will have to fix them and then put them away. He's been told many times to make sure his clothes are the right side out.  Yes - this is a petty thing...a little OCD I have.  Will see how this goes. 

I have told my DH that he is in charge of making dinner Wednesdays & Thursdays (that's our full time permanent days with SS).  Which will consist of hamburger helper and frozen pizzas.  I did advise him that he could put a side of veggies with it. So we will see how that goes.  I won't be eating any of it. So this will also mean he will have to deal with the clean up. I would like to see improvement on what he makes so maybe at some point I could actually eat with them. 

(Today) we get SS from Wed PM -Mon AM.   So I am really going to try to be calm and not let things get to me.  I do have to get SS up in the mornings and make sure he's ready in time to go to his Grandma's before I leave for work. Because my DH works super early.  Other than that...I really have disengaged from many responsibilities. The next 5 days will be a big test.