Do I even bother telling DH?
SD16 is here this weekend. She was supposed to get her mid term report card yesterday. I asked her about school (she has consistently failed at least one class each year since grade 9). She said things were 'great!'. I asked her about her report card. She stared blankly at me. I repeated myself, told her I know she got it Friday. She said she didn't. I replied, 'Really, your school website said they were handed out March 13th SD16.' Her reply, 'I guess my teacher forgot.' DH does his best head-in-the-sand routine and pretends he isn't listening.
Forgot my ass...the schools are mandated to hand them out of time. One quick call to the school after spring break would verify it. DH finally joins in with 'Bring it next time you're here'.
She won't. She will 'forget' it like she has every other one just grade 9.
Do I call her on it? Do say anything to DH? I'm so tired of her getting away with shit. But if I do, then I'm the bad guy again by upsetting SD and forcing DH to deal with yet another lie.
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I completely agree Forever
I completely agree Forever and Ever! But even if she did get it, she wouldn't be stupid enough to bring it with her to our house. She's stalling because she knows her dad's memory is horrible. But mine isn't. I'm tempted to call the school and then on the next visit tell her I know she's had it the whole time and make her tell DH.
Can u get it online? My
Can u get it online? My skids school post all grades and midterm reports online.
I think so, but since BM has
I think so, but since BM has full physical custody and DH only had visitation, BM won't allow DH to have access. It's up to SD to bring the report to us, which has always worked in her favour the last couple years.
Physical custody has nothing
Physical custody has nothing to do with Dad seeing the grades. Even if BM has full legal custody, Dad should be able to get grades from the school. Full legal custody does not mean that BM can prevent Dad from seeing the grades.
If Dad takes a copy of the CO to the school and shows he has visitation the school should allow him access to the grades. There is a federal law that allows the NCP access to school records.
In this case it does. BM has
In this case it does. BM has told the school that if DH shows up there he is to be arrested since the CO states he only has access to SD one weekend a month from the Friday at 6pm to the Sunday at 6pm and no physical contact during the week. So that also means he has not access to online grades. He has tried and the school told him to provide the court order that shows BM's document is invalid, their hands are tied. We have to rely solely on SD providing the information to us.
Trust me, he has tried.
This is a tough one. If you
This is a tough one. If you figure it out, let us know.
My kids' high school does not
My kids' high school does not hand report cards out but grades are posted on the school website.
Can you check it? They should be up for all to see.
The last time he tried he was
The last time he tried he was told by the school he required an access code that unless BM wants to give it to him, he is SOL. The school will not provide it to him.
Depends if your DH is going
Depends if your DH is going to do anything about it. If he puts his head in the sand whether she's failing or not, then I don't see how badgering her to bring the report card would do anything.
She is 16. 18 is coming at
She is 16. 18 is coming at her fast. If you have a conversation with your dh about how hard it is to motivate her with no portal access and only 1 weekend a month, do you think you could suggest that he say something to her like:
"Very soon you will be a legal adult, sweetie. You need to start thinking about your future. The responsibility for your high school performance is really on you. If you fail to get a proper education, it won't take MY education away from me--I have one and I have a good job for it. Think about what you are doing to YOURSELF every time you get a poor grade."
Is it even possible to incentivize her with a long term goal such as I'll (dad) pay for cheer camp this summer if you get a 3.6 gpa. Something like that?
I think this will be very hard for dad to control with only one weekend a month, no school access, and a very hostile bm. Since she seems to have little or no proper parental respect for him, it's going to be hard to establish it at this late date. May have to get creative.
Does your DH pay CS? I still
Does your DH pay CS? I still do not see what only 1 visit a month has to do with seeing her grades. What a bitch BM...telling the school to have him arrested, if he shows up. If there is no problem with he spending a weekend with you all, I do not see what the issue is on NO contact during the week.
If she has no interest in her grades, who does she think is going to support her when she is an adult?
If he wants to keep his head
If he wants to keep his head in the sand, then its his prerogative. His monkey, his circus.
This has become my stance with hubby, SD and school.