SD came back
I had my baby. Sweet baby girl, she is now 3 weeks old.
SD came back last fortnight and met her and had a cuddle. I found the whole thing awkward.
I got zero apology and she spoke to me like the last 3 months didn't happen where she threw a royal tantrum and refused to come back to our house and BM sent a bullying and manipulative email about me.
I just had my own wall up with her because I had no idea how to respond to her lack of compassion, remorse and overall bullshit happy attitude. I noticed she asked me the most stupid questions as in (questions she knew the answers too or knew that I would have known she knows) and I politely replied with 'not sure ask your dad' where she did not ask DH. I did not bring up any of her behaviour and I feel she was a bit miffed maybe that there was no reaction from me at all with her. DH made no effort for her to be accountable and apologise to me so I have thrown in the towel and moving on. Although he did have a one on one meeting with her and stuck up for me the whole time and told her I was 100% in the right for my reaction and she was at fault so she would have hated that. Still an apology from her would have helped smooth things over but I'm not surprised that would not be an option for her.
The skids are supposed to be here but BM wanted to take SS to a football match and his cricket presentations so he stayed with her for an extra two nights. DH let him go, providing he is here for his birthday so SS is only staying one night. SD of course requested she stay away too because god forbid she is here alone without SS. No excuse for her other than she wants to go with SS too. DH didn't even hesitate and said that was fine. He has accepted she hates being here and only comes because she either has too or a better offer never came up for her.
It's SD birthday next week and I refuse to lift a finger for it. DH hasn't mentioned it and I certainly will not bring it up. She has another thing coming if she expects gifts coming from me which I normally do get every year from us and if DH wants to get her something he can do it himself this year. I do not want a part of it. She didn't even acknowledge my birthday last year despite DH telling her twice to wish me a happy birthday. Not that I expected it and I wish I can say I didn't care but a small part of me was hurt considering all things I've done for her since she was 3. But I'm beyond caring these days now.
Anyway let's see how the rest of this weekend goes when they arrive. I'm treating SD like she's a neighbours daughter so polite and distant, no more head space for her.
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Remind me
I can't remember, how old is she? Disengagement is your friend here. Civil and polite. My SD63, like yours, has never acknowledged or apologized for anything she's done over the past 53 years and I'm not holding my breath. She sometimes mirrors my civil and polite stance, other times, she goes back to the "daughter-ish" relationship we once had. I'm too cautious now to be drawn back. Sigh.
Congratulations on your baby!
If I remember rightly
She's ten...
Yes disengaged and completely
Yes disengaged and completely not interested in her personal life. She is 11 years old now. Yes sometimes she is engaging and nice but then sometimes she does things that make me question if she is actually sincere or playing games. I just have to be distant these days.
Thank you loving the new baby cuddles!
Don't waist your time forecasting what is coming and do not care
Gray rock this POS failed family spawn. She has not earned you giving a shit so don't give a shit.
Total neutral uninterested grey rocking. Your "ask your dad" is exactly the right move.
Though I would not let her cuddle on my new born if I was you. Her half sib or not, she is shit and no baby should have to be cuddled by a turd.
SD has earned her gray rocked existence so make her live that existence.
When she plays her next round of toxic crap, and invariably she will, turn to daddy and say "get this noxious spawn away from me and our children". No discussion, no quarter, no tolerance.
Congratulations on the new one.
Take are of you and take care of your LOs. Keep the enemies at the gates and do not allow them in.
Well she didn't have a cuddle
Well she didn't have a cuddle this weekend. I made sure baby was with me 100% of the time. Totally agree, taking care of my little ones from now on for sure.
Congratulations! Enjoy your
Congratulations! Enjoy your sweet girl and keep your guard up with SD. Our son is 4, SD is almost 15 now and I still don't leave him alone with her. They sound the same!
Yes, I have made sure I'm
Yes, I have made sure I'm within ear shot of SD around my kids and thankfully my DD4 sticks up for herself a lot and tells SD off for things which is hilarious.
You have your BD
You will never have SK. '''Trow in the towel'''. On SK, Disengage from them. There are DH problem,,he's doing what he wants anyway.
Really, you have a great new baby put your effort towards her. Disengage from SK nonsense, you will never win. Just don't waste your time
Well said, Harry.
Well said, Harry.
Yep I've disengaged both. I
Yep I've disengaged both. I've stopped asking questions regarding their life and SD hates it. No one brought up her birthday and SD ended up brining up her birthday party that she's having at BMs and I pretended I didn't hear her and only SS responded as DH was watching the footy and honestly don't think he heard her. I'm just not interested in her life.
Idk what all she did to you
Idk what all she did to you but if your DH didn't make her apologize (where you determined it was reasonable to expect apology) then he was probably too scared to enforce.
If I were you....You can LOOK at my baby but you can't hold the baby until you apologize...
A little ruthless and slightly petty but so are they for disturbing your peace to the point you require an apology.
As a new mom you have more leverage than you believe. You don't owe anyone (especially an ingrate skid who is hellbent on making your home life chaotic) access to your newborn
Oh she lied, she lies allll
Oh she lied, she lies allll the time. Then goes back and talks Poison with BM about me, lies and then comes back disrespecting us. I think she lies to BM and us to cause drama and BM laps it all up because she LOVES the drama and chaos for us.
We have stopped reacting now, and they both try to get a reaction out of us and it's getting comical.
BM even told the skids to wish DH a happy birthday! What a joke. DH didn't react and I pretended I didn't hear. I like pretending to be deaf and walking off.