Should a 12 yr old need a Babysitter?
I have a BD25 so it's been a long while since I've dealt with a Tween. SD12 is still in after-school-care programs. It's expensive. Half the time, she doesn't go there and other times, she should REALLY be at the library instead, given her failing grades. My BD25 was babysitting other kids when she was 12. Maybe I'm old fashioned now but kids these days seem to never ever mature!!
I've lived on Overseas military bases for decades now so the small little gated community is such a privilege and so easy for a 12 year old to take advantage of the security and family support systems. But, SD12 just doesn't get it. It's 7:30pm over here now and she's missing after her field trip to Pompeii. DH is driving around the base looking for her while I believe SD just got off the field trip bus hours ago and went to hang out with her friends. Again. All this, while DH is paying for an after school care program. What's the point?!
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I believe she will use the
I believe she will use the field trip as an excuse for being late. I know too well how she operates. I just feel that 12 years old with zero accountability for ANYthing is just way too old to be acting like a child.
My SD15stb16 still needs a
My SD15stb16 still needs a babysitter, she can't be trusted for one hour by herself. Not sure how many boys would be up in the house. LOL. She was last caught after school with a boy in my sons bed.....gag!
^^THIS^^ My sd16 can not be
^^THIS^^
My sd16 can not be trusted alone for 10 minutes.
Sadly, it sounds like your SD
Sadly, it sounds like your SD still needs to be supervised. It would be nice, if she was more mature. You all could save the money from dropping after care. Even if it was not an issue of cost, the money could be saved towards SD's college expenses. One day at time.
Hahahaha! Sorry OP, this is a
Hahahaha! Sorry OP, this is a bone of contention at my home right now. DH pays for an expensive after school program for SD as well-because BM insists, even though SD is almost 13 and taking babysitting classes to watch her cousins. Except SD stays at home by herself on days when there is no school. In fact DH dropped the check off to SD, home by herself, last time! He failed to see the irony.
I think its too old. Sounds
I think its too old. Sounds like she has outgrown after school care. After all she is running off with her friends.
Sounds like your SD12 could
Sounds like your SD12 could use a leash. I hope when Dad catches up with her some strong guidelines are laid down. First up, if you two decide afterschool care is finished, a cell phone needs to be considered.
It's really not a stepkid thing, it's a kid thing. Even the most trustworthy and mature kids screw up and push boundaries. Sit down with DH and draw up the house rules of what and how after school is now going to be. Will there be other kids allowed at your home while you and Dad are still working? Will homework be done during this time or chores? Will she be allowed to go to library? Blah blah. Don't forget a list of what-to-do in case and teach her the basics of what is allowed (for example, snacks. Can she properly use the stove top or oven or just the microwave)
I agree that maturity plays a
I agree that maturity plays a big factor in whether my skid stays at my home alone. Dh and I decided that ss11 does not posses the maturity to stay in my home alone when he turns 12, much less be in charge of other children. I can see sd9 (if she continues to be the respectful, trustworthy little girl that I she is currently) staying in my home alone at 12 and I think by then I might even let her watch my child.
Sorry, Echo, but where we
Sorry, Echo, but where we live...think of a small Embassy-type compound...no safety issues here....I still think 12 is way too old to require a "baby" sitter.
Safety & security, My
Safety & security, My Ass...Until DH and BM sign me up for legal guardian authority, there's really nothing I can do. Oh, and the field trip bus supposedly broke down on the way back (according to pathological lying SD) so that's why she was late. Ok, fine. I really wish I could believe her but her pattern of lying is too deep. Then another gem happened tonight. SD went to a birthday party. When she came home, DH noticed a bulge in her pants pocket (lol) It was DH's ipod and headphones. So SD has been sneaking his electronics out of the house to be potentially lost or broken. If she's going to steal, she could at least be smart enough to hide it somewhere other than her obviously large pocket. haha.
Good lord, it's always something. And she is still hiding the report card with the F. I'm sure she will present it to DH late Sunday night so she can continue her weekend fun without getting grounded. As a full time SM, it gets harder each day to have every single night full of skid drama instead of having even a simple family moment like watching a movie together. I didn't create this mess, and yet, I can't fix or even help this mess. This kid just refuses to learn right from wrong.
Wait, you were on a SAC base,
Wait, you were on a SAC base, Echo?! That was ages ago haha. My first base when I enlisted was a MAC base. SAC, TAC, & MAC was pretty much it.