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Strange SD. Strange.

FMSL's picture

Me and BD4 were walking outside when we saw SD12 walking toward us coming home from school. It was so weird. When she saw us, she suddenly got a strange blank look on her face as if she didn't recognize us. She does this sort of thing all the time so it's not really a big deal but it's so annoying that whenever I see it, I have to say something.

So I waved at her and said hi but SD just kept walking toward us with a strange look on her face. It was as if she was trying to calculate what the normal human response is supposed to be when you see someone you know walking toward you on the sidewalk. Even after I waved and said hi, she just walked right on by with that strange look on her face. I felt bad for BD4 because I'm sure she would have loved to have had a big sister see her out in public and say hi to her. SD12 can only act and respond to situations she already knows. She never responds naturally any time there is a new situation, no matter how simple the new situation is. Poor DH, he knows he can't fix or change her. Yes, we have explored therapy/Asperger's/sociopath/O.D.D./personality disorder, etc.

I'm just tired of being the only fulltime mom she knows and I've done all the "mom" things for her, yet she makes it almost impossible for me to even want to try and have a deeper connection to her. She has caused all of us so much pain over the years and continues to act like a jerk to us unless she needs something and wants us to buy her something.

Comments

BethAnne's picture

This, she either needs punishment or education. If she genuinely has a problem with new situations, then you need to show her what to do in that sort of situation, role play it at home so that she knows and has a few options to choose from. If she is just being rude and obnoxious, she needs to be punished and told that it isn't acceptable. It isn't hard to say hello and force a smile and keep on walking, which is the minimum requirement to be polite in my book. Another thing, is maybe get her eyes checked? Perhaps she can see someone who sort of looks like you but she wasn't sure if it was you, so to avoid embarrassment she just ignored you??

roadvirus1's picture

Fucking weird. God skids fkng annoy the piss out of me. you should make her go to her room till she learns manners. Im so glad my ss doesn't love with us.

ChokinOnLemonz's picture

My SS12 lives here FT and does the same shit. DH said something about it and now he's taken the weird train up another notch as in if he sees we are on the safe sidewalk headed to each other he will literally leap from the sidewalk and take off running sideways to circumvent passing me. Quite bizarre.

Indo's picture

I'm glad you are looking into therapy/Asperger's/sociopath/O.D.D./personality disorder, etc.

Socially awkward people can't function in society and she needs help.

A side story- My friend is a surgeon. He said the year he applied to medical school, the board decided personal interviews were a waste of time and accepted people based solely on academic paperwork submitted.
The crazy-ass people in his inducting class were the stuff horror writers would love to get their hands on.
The very next year, they resumed personal interviews...
If a person can't hold a conversation, you don't want them interacting with people.

AllySkoo's picture

Have you looked into prosopagnosia, sometimes called "face blindness"? It's an inability to recognize faces, even of people you're close to or know very well. People who have it rely entirely on other cues (like location) to recognize people. So if SD wasn't expecting to see you on the street (if she has prosopagnosia), then she literally didn't see YOU - she saw a stranger. It also (for obvious reasons) tends to make people socially awkward.

momof4AU's picture

This is typical SKid behavior. Mine refuses to say hello to me, or goodbye to me when she leaves. The only time she greets me is when DH is present. If I take her to school, I'll tell her "Bye, sweetie! Have a good day!" She will say nothing to me, just gets out of the car and slams the door. It used to bother me, but now I don't care.

AllySkoo's picture

*sigh* For all everyone keeps saying "typical rude skid", I keep coming back to what you wrote:

"he suddenly got a strange blank look on her face as if she didn't recognize us"

Seriously. Face blindness. Look into it.

AllySkoo's picture

Oddly not. People with face blindness learn to use other cues to recognize people. Location ("I'm at home, so this is likely family"), gestures and body language ("head cocked when saying hi, big smile, this is SoAndSo"), clothing ("Mom is wearing a red sweater today, got it"), all sorts of things so they can figure it out. Lots of people don't realize the process of figuring out "who is this" is going on at all, other than maybe an occasion or two of "you walked right by me with a blank look on your face! You're not mad at me, are you?"

momof4AU's picture

I don't doubt there is a condition that is called face blindness. (I'm about to look it up) But it does seem strange. My Bio kid has autism, and I know lots of other kids who have similar social issues, but they will at least wave if hey hear a familiar sounding voice or something. If she is 12, and It hasn't been noticed then that is either terrible for her SD...She may have a condition, may need glasses....or she was being rude. Don't teenagers start being embarrassed around parents at this age, too?

FMSL's picture

I'm so over it today but thanks for all the comments. Yesterday, I was bothered by this encounter but I get over it quickly these days. I'm getting used to SD's crappy attitude and learning to just accept no one can change her personality but her own self. If I didn't know any better, I would think she has "face blindness" too. But Ghost is probably right: "she's suffering from A-hole Skid Syndrome." Oh, and she does wear glasses.