She complains about dinner? That's ok, there's some bread and peanut butter in the cupboard which she's welcome to eat in her room alone if she likes.....

This kid needs a kick in the ass by DH

Nope you're not alone... SD16 moved in with us almost a year ago now. AGAINST my wishes.. but as usual, everything was planned, discussed, DONE before it was even presented to me, because why should my opinion count?? I am bitter and resentful. The whole dynamic of our home has changed since she moved in. She doesn't even sound near as bad as your SD, but it still sucks! The world in our home revolves around SD now, and making sure that whatever SD wants, she gets. BM1 is a piece of shit and does nothing! DH FINALLY filed the petition for Child Support in January and then withdrew it last week 2 days before the court date, because he was too lazy to fill out the paperwork. I could fucking strangle him. But again, why should anyone care about what I think or want right?

I hate, hate, hate having SD16 living with us. Did I mention that I hate it? It has put a terrible strain on our marriage (which I might add, was happy and wonderful prior to her moving in) Which of course just fuels my resentment fires. And then DH resents me, because I am disengaged and miserable, and so we go round and round and thank you very much SD16 and your loser stupid skank BM who just HAAAAADDDD to have you, but can't be bothered to be your mother.

We have Full time... it's a whole different ball game!!! HUGS

"She walks in every day with a nasty upset look. I ask her to move her books off the dinner table and she goes into extreme defensive mode with a sarcastic "Sooooorrrrrrrry." She's just plain nasty and rude. DH tells her to do homework and it starts an entire night of pure Hell. I think her hormones are way out of whack, which is probably normal, BUT, as the SM, I can't even so much as offer helpful advice. She wants nothing to do with me, which is fine...BUT, it makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable in my own house. Sometimes I got eat alone in my room because I don't want to hear her complaining rude behavior after I've cooked a good dinner. I have all but given up on everything, including my marriage."

YES ... Here's some things MAYBE she needs to see a child psychologist? SO and I met with SS8's and she told me that I have every right not to have to put up with that. Really treat her like she's your own kid, we get stuck in this "i'm not the parent mode" and the kids knows it. She told me i really needed to step up the "you will not disrespect me" game. She said even have the kid repeat in the exact tone that they said things to you 10x and the next time 20x and use time outs. ETC. She said there's nothing I can do about the looks, to just have to blow those off but the outright disrespectful, embarrassing, hurtful, or physical/verbal behavior can be addressed. To not go into the WHYS of the behaviors but just to address the behavior as is. As if she were your bio kid. B>C the child is living in the house like your bio. You're an adult and as such you deserve the respect that adults get.

I totally understand escaping... but all they are doing is succeeding in pushing you out and they don 't get to make that decision!

Good luck!!!!!

Ditto. SD12 and SD8 here full time. Never a break. Hell I get sick of my *own* kids full-time. So much harder when they're not your own, look like someone you don't like, and come with a whole host of habits and behaviors that you've never experienced.

You should read my blogs about my SD who lives here full time. My whole house smells because of her and I clean it top to bottom every day. My SD has no desire to learn any good habits from me. Anything I tell her, she just stares at the wall and dismisses. It's hard as hell to make it through each day knowing you are stuck with this kid who came prepackaged with bad habits and bad genetics from BM. We got SD full time after BM spent the first 5-6 years of her life teaching her bad habits. My marriage was just fine until she came here full time. She brings a negative cloud home with her every day.

Same here! 24/7/365 with no BM in sight. It sucks and thats all there is to it. Mini-wife and Disney dad make me want to vomit on most days. Sometimes I can't see the train wreck because my eyes are stuck in the back of my head from rolling all day. But I can admit she is probably just a little more high maintenance than a normal teen and my bios certainly were no joy at this lovely age so I try to remember that and trudge on. A weekend break would be nice though. One can dream, right?

Not alone at all. SS14 and SD12 came to live here full time last fall. They only visit with BM 10 hours a week.

It would not be bad except DH doesnt parent them. No expectations so they walk all over him. Mouthy and rotten a lot of the time. So I fight with him because I don't want to live in a miserable home. It sucks. Big time.

We also have SD5 all the time except EOW. I too can relate to the anxiety you feel being around your SD. I like to be around happy, kind, normal people. Already at 5 my SD is mostly angry, disobediant and basically has an all around terrible attitude. She expects everyone to treat her kindly but doesn't treat anyone kindly herself. She also already says stuff like, "I can't wait to leave this house" and "I hope you get hurt, I wouldn't care" etc. etc. Wonder where she gets that from? Lately she has been acting up in school and I feel anxiety every time I go pick her up wondering if it will be a "good night" at home or a "bad night." Her father's parenting needed some MAJOR work and only just now is he starting to step up. Wonder if she would have ever started having behavioral problems at school if he had made it very important to her to listen to her teachers from the get go? We walk a very fine line us SM's. We are told to disengage, yet that makes us feel like outsiders in our own home. I try to put in exactly what I need to not let that happen and continue to remind her Dad what his responsiblities are as her father.

We had SD full time from ages 11 to 15. Boy was that a swell time! (extreme sarcasm here) Not only did we get to deal with her hormonal moods, we got to deal with her anger at being left behind when her mom moved an hour away (taking her two half-sisters with but leaving SD behind with us). And our relationship wasn't that strong to start with, so... I feel for you!

Full time step mom and have been for most of the time we have been married (4 years). Skids are SS7, SD8 and their mother lives across the country, hasn't seen them in 2+ years AT ALL (her choice). Furthermore, my DH is out of town A LOT so it is just me, for WEEKS on end. He leaves for 28 days in a few weeks. We are also military so we have no family around and no other support system. It totally sucks and I'm sorry. The only saving grace is my skids are not that bad.

Just recently got full custody of SD12. I actually drove the final Parenting Plan agreement to the courthouse today to file with the courts. Talk about driving the last nail in your own coffin...:( I already hate this.