does this make me the bad guy???
DF and I have SD9 all school week and the BM has her in the weekends. SD9 does a lot better in school when she stays with us plus it just makes more since to have her during the school week because her school is in our side of town. I just finished hosting a slumber party for SD9’s b-day this month. (Which BTW was very exhausting since I got NO help from DF.) I’m usually the one getting her ready for school, packing her lunch, taking her to school, and helping with homework. Getting her ready for bed etc…
With that said, my fiancé will be leaving for a week to go on a business trip (two weeks from now.) He had asked me if SD9 can stay with me that week while he was away. And I honestly told him “No, because I would like alone time, If that’s okay with him?” He said it was “fine” that he will ask her mother to take her but he said it with a very disappointed look on his face. He was short with me after that for the rest of the day. So I knew it bothered him that I did not want to keep her.
I think DF getting all upset with me is ridiculous especially when He and I know SD9 has a mother who is more than capable of taking care of her own daughter for one lousy week. The bitch face can pick her up doing school week if she wanted to for a day or so, but refuses because she doesn’t want to drive 30mins to pick her daughter up from school. The woman is unemployed! She has all the time in the world to do these things but she refuses because she is just too DAMN LAZY. There are times when SD9 wants to do something (school trips/events/activities etc...) and the bitch has the nerve to tell my fiancé why can’t Foxymama do it? And I think to myself seriously?!? Because I’M NOT HER MOTHER! That’s why you stupid bitch! Ugh..grr… It gets me so angry that I have to pick up after HER slack when it comes to SD9. Don’t have kids if you don’t want to put up with them, it’s just that simple!
Now does this make ME a bad person? Not wanting to have SD9 while DF is away? To want quite me time for a week? Should I just give in and keep SD9 for that week or stand my ground and let HER mother deal with her?
P.S. DF has not mentioned it to BM about keeping SD9 for a week. Though I already know how it’s going to go down. ….He will call her…..
DF: “I’m going on a business trip for a week and need you to keep SD9 until I return.”
BM: “Why can’t Foxymama keep her? You know me keeping her requires me to drop her off and pick her up from school?! That’s too much driving I have things to do…blah blah blah” continues to give DF more lame excuses not to have SD9.
DF: Gives in… then says...”I will talk to Foxymama. But I think she made up her mind about you having SD9 for the week.
BM: “That’s fine. I still don’t understand why she doesn’t want to have SD9 for the week, what the heck is HER problem”
DF: Blows of the question to avoid any confrontation…. then will say “I will call you back with a defiant answer”.
And if she does end up keeping SD9 for the week. I know for a fact she will Fill SD9's head with mean statements about me. "oh Foxymama didn't want you this week because she didn't want to spend time with you, she doesn't really love you"...etc... When in fact its the other way around!!!
UGH!!!!! Story of my life!
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Comments
I have a BM that bad mouths
I have a BM that bad mouths me every chance she gets, too. I am just now getting to the point that I don't care. If my SS wants to believe it - there is nothing I can do to stop it.
You are entitled to a week break. In fact, I am jealous! Don't let the fear of BM bad mouthing you or your DF talk you into doing something you don't want to do. You will be better off in the long run if you have this week to decompress!
I still get surprised by how
I still get surprised by how some of us “let” ourselves get in these situations.!!
You realize that you are basically the only parent this child has right? Her Dad does not seem to really engage with her, nor does it sound like the BM does either. And why should they…they have you to be the parent and do all the work.
I think I would tell DH that you will not be watching her that week, period. Tell him that you are the parent that does the most for his child and you need a break. If BM can’t “watch” her own kid, then tell DH he needs to find someone for that week.
Hope it helps, but I have to tell you…you have allowed DH and BM to have a pretty sweet set up.
Heck no you aren't the bad
Heck no you aren't the bad guy!! You are stepping up and parenting your SD for both of her Bio parents. You need a break. Enjoy you week off My BF left for a week and he left on a Sunday. SD was supposed to go to her BM's on Monday he asked if I wanted to keep SD for that day and get her to school on Monday. I said NO!! So off to her BM's she went LOL.
You are not the parent here.
You are not the parent here. They are. Let them parent her...Ridiculous that this is even an issue.
What would they do if dad
What would they do if dad were single?
Both parents are taking advantage of you.
This question had come up a
This question had come up a few times with my fiance? I would ask him what would he do with SD9 if he was single and his response will be..
" Well that's just it..I'm NOT single I have you, so I don't understand why you cant do this for me and for SD9? "
REALLY?!...PISSES ME OFF!
" Well that's just it..I'm
" Well that's just it..I'm NOT single I have you, so I don't understand why you cant do this for me and for SD9? "
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
OMG!!!! I would be LIVID over this!! He needs to man up and parent his own kid. I am not bashing, but I also want to point out...you are LETTING this happen to you. Please think about what your life is going to be like when this 9 year old hits 13 and you are still the only one dealing with her. Boy oh boy!