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BM Refuse Mediation, Renigs on Agreements Made

Francesca's picture

SO pays for mediation, mediator convinces BM to come. BM says she understands the damage she is doing to the kids by denying them access to their father. BM agrees to bring children to father with her approval (teens wary). BM says she's in therapy and wants to become "independent." Mediator says BM is very reasonable and repentant of her wicked ways. So, we wait in mediation for her to arrive (I'm supposed to leave after first hour), we wait, mediator calls, we wait some more, BM doesn't show. Mediator says this is not a good sign. SO goes to kids school and finds her while picking up kids and asks her why she didn't show and why she didn't stick to agreements. "BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO." "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?" Mediator says he has only one option now, custody fight.
Why do BM's do this?

Comments

Jsmom's picture

Because they don't value the relationship that a father has with a child. I am convinced that they did not have a good male role model. So in their mind a father has no true value. So why should they encourage a relationship. It has no significance.

Elizabeth's picture

I think it's a combination of a pissing match (BM wants to be top dog) and a belief that as the mother, her wants regarding the kids are sacred. Our BM would actually agree to something during meetings with BOTH lawyers (hers and ours) and then, when it came time to sign the document, deny she'd said it. Even when BOTH lawyers said they'd witnessed her saying it.

When BM sued us for CS (SD went to live with BM 2 years ago after living with us for 4 years and we never asked her for CS), first she told DH (in front of both lawyers) she didn't want CS from him but just for him to pay half of SD's activities. So DH offered her $100 a month, which I believe is more than generous for JUST activities for a 15-year-old. Then BM turned around and said she'd never said THAT, and she sued us for full CS (and got it).

Good luck on your battle. Just stick to your guns and know there's just no understanding SOME people.

Francesca's picture

What is a Gir and what is a Tenant? I feel the mediator wanted to offer her too much, anyway. This one won't work, either.
We are going to see a father's rights lawyer on Monday. I did read that we can make a case that we are better parents (even besides her suicide attempts) in that I am a teacher and we have steady income. That's a bit of a flip.