I have been with my fiance for almost 6 years. I have no kids and his kids are now 19 and 13. SD19 has lived with us since last summer when she graduated high school and started working at the local Tim Horton's. SS13 lives with BM about a hour and a half away. My fiance, SD and I also live with fiance's mother in a three bedroom house.

I work from home so when we first moved into the house, the third bedroom was to be my office and the kids would use it every other weekend. When SD graduated high school and moved in she demanded the room for herself and forced me to move my office to my fiance's and my bedroom and SS to sleep on a rollaway cot in the dining room.

We have had SS13 all week this week because his mother's landlord had to do some repairs in her apartment. BM got put up in a hotel that was too far away for SS to walk to/get to school and BM goes to work too early to take him. SS is in Grade 8 so I am a bit upset that he missed all week at school but I don't say anything because I feel it's not my place.

The stepkids and I seem to have a battle going on for my fiance's attention. It came to a head (AGAIN) over the last couple of days because SS has felt left out this week since my fiance has been working and really didn't spend much time with his son. My fiance and I did spend some time together on Wednesday (my day off work) because I picked him up when he was done and we had dinner. Thursday I got off work early and when my fiance came home, the stepkids said they wanted to go to the beach. I went with them but SD19 got pissy because she wanted it to be just the three of them and my fiance and I did not pick up on that. She sulked on a bench far away from my fiance and I while SS played in the water. SD went to the car when I gave my fiance a kiss (they hate our PDAs and think I kiss too loud).

Anyway, we come home and my fiance is outside with the kids bbq'ing dinner. I see they are talking and stay inside. My fiance said he was going to take them out on Saturday (today) while I am working. I have been battling depression for the last year now and tried to wean myself off the meds since end of March this year. BAD IDEA! I had a depression breakdown last night and had to come into the bedroom crying because SS was in the living room when it happened. My fiance comes in to see if I am okay and basically tells me to quit it because SS thinks I am putting on an act to get attention. NEWS FLASH: depression is NOT an act-I know SS may not be old enough to understand but does he REALLY think I was crying like that for fun?! I started back on the pills last night.

I haven't seen my fiance since they left for a day out this morning. I took off work early today because my meds make me feel sick the first couple of days and I couldn't take it. I was napping when they came home at least 3 hours ago (I got up 2 hours ago) and my fiance still hasn't come to see if I am awake or not (he knows I don't like to nap past 5 or 6 or I won't sleep that night). I am afraid to leave the bedroom because I always feel like I am intruding in my fiance's time with his kids and I know they hate me for it. I just wish there was a way for us to get along.