How Many of you are....
In couples counseling??? I would be interested in seeing how many of us have gone to couples counseling.. I was thinking that perhaps this post could benefit everyone thinking about it..
My dh and I have an appt set up for (get this.... ) Valentine's Day, before we go out to dinner.. our first session.
For those of you that go, did you feel it helped?? did you see any improvement on the communications in the family, and did the dh/dw become easier to talk to about their children??
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starting in a few weeks
I finally hit my breaking point with how being a SM affects me and I had my first appt last week. It was pretty clear to the therapist that its a WE issue and to my surprise, DH said he'd go too. Even my first appt was good in that she had some outside perspective that helped. That,and the therapist said she was a step mom too and it was the hardest thing she ever had to do- that helped a lot!
Good luck- I think valentines day is a great day to start- what's more important on that day that committment to your relationship!
I know.. That is amazing..
I know.. That is amazing.. I wish you could ask them those questions up front while shopping for one. We got a guy. I was actually very happy about that.. I figured if its a guy, and dh doesnt like what he is saying, then its not that two females ganged up on him.. but rather that MAYBE he has to rethink how he does things..
That he might accept it more coming from another guy. Keep your fingers crossed.
This all resulted from my DH telling me that he doenst even like me anymore and I was so tired w/it all that I said.. you dont like it.. there is the door. Find some place for you and your kids. That prompted a maybe we should see someone from him.
The ex gf and I went
She chose the counselor who had been seeing the kids. The counselor wasn't helpful and the ex gf never really listened. It was a "communication" issue -- not the fact that the kids would have 2-3 hour screaming fits and one of them was 10 years old and still walking around sucking his thumb and carrying a blanket. I think counseling will only work when both people want it to work (and when you have a step family and the kids are actively trying to sabotage the relationship....you may just be wasting your money and time...
Kevin
ask around
I happened to stumble on this counselor but got referred by some at work. The person who referred has been seeing this therapist for a long time about completely unrelated issues so I was just lucky.
Talk to friend and co-workers and see who they go to- hell, there are enough blended families by numbers alone across the country to make this a specialty practice!
Counseling does help
My DH and I started going now its been about two or three months now and communication has gotten way better between us and also it has helped him communicate better with my daughter who lives with us and also both of us dealing with both kids. (being his daughter who we have every other weekend) So I would recommend counseling to anyone because it really helps having someone be the so called ref so you can actually communicate everything you feel to your spouse without arguing its wonderful
Good luck to you I hope it helps you as well.
Yes, we attend counseling
well we were attending counseling anyways. About the time that my DH was being told he needs to set boundaries and stand up to his ex, well that is about the time, he decided not to go anymore. We went once a week for about three months. It really helped. It helped our communication and it did help him to see that he was allowing BM to interfere in our life. I wish we were still going. Oh well, I could probably save some money and just file for a divorce. LOL!
We see a family therapist
Who is technically SD's therapist but SD refuses treatment because her mom has reinforced to her that we are the problem not either of them.
This therapist is a well known child psychologist in my area and she has been immeasurably helpful, not only in dealing with SD and BM, but with being a more present mom for my sons and stepping back from being the main provider of parenting to SD.
BUT...DH decided this week after SD made up rumors about a male teacher she doesn't like (because she can't play him) that we are bumping it up to a psychiatrist. The child psychologist I will probably still visit every other month too since we pay that out of pocket anyway. But she's too hands off for the escalating behavior in our opinion.
Peace, love, and red wine
No therapist
there's nothing wrong with me! JUST KIDDING!