I think I have had IT!!!
I was reviewing our bank accounts to see what I could pay extra to the credit card, and LOW AND BEHOLD.. my Direct TV bill went up $71 from one month to the next. So.. I call.... and was not prepared for this.
Me: Hi, I was curious as to why my bill went from $84/month to $155/mth.
DTV: That was for the purchase of some adult movies at $14.95/movie. There were 7 purchases.
Me: WHAT WERE THE DATES AND TIMES?? Remove ordering ANY movies from my account!
I get off the phone w/that nice lady, and SUFFICIENTLY MORTIFIED!
I immediately call that jerk
ME: Hi, you just pissed away $71 on porn. I have had that privelege removed from our account. HOW COULD YOU??
DH: Ummmm... I am going to be honest.. It was an accident, I was scrolling through the channels and might have ACCIDENTLY order it..
Me: 7 TIMES???? 1 time is an accident.. 7 Times is something entirely different.
DH: I promise it was an accident and I didnt even watch it.
ME: $71 is the cost to fill up your tank w/gas to go pick up YOUR children. And you just pissed it away on PORN.. I am disgusted and this is NOT acceptable. Sorry that I no longer satisfy you.
Then I hung up. As I type this I am shaking w/anger. This occurred on Sunday mornings at 7 in the morning.. INCLUDING MOTHERS DAY!!!
I AM FREAKIN PISSED...
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I would be beyond mad
You're right, once is an accident. Seven times is a pattern. What gets me is he had to know you would find out eventually. And why would he say "I am going to be honest" when he's not?
I am sure you are mad and frustrated right now!
with ya on that one....
I have blown a gasket over crap like this w/ my ex, and my SS, who was only 13 at the time and was looking at porn on the computer, and then we started getting e-mails with all of these web sites, and a bunch of pop up's. My Ex , I believe had an addiction, I used to think it had to do w/ me, that I was not enough.....now I realize...finally, that it was all his problem, and I moved on. I hate when they LIE about it, or the stupid explanations they give!!!!"~waiting on the world to change~"
The thing is, his ex at one
The thing is, his ex at one point had told me how when they were married he use to surf the web and watch porn on their home computer. Did I think she was exaggerating?? yeah.. a little.. as she said he was obsessed w/it. In the 5 yrs I have known him, I have never found anything like this.. so of course I was thinking, she made this crap up.
NOW I get a bill for $71 for smut.. I am boiling. I dont need this crap right now. I dont. I really really dont. I dont even want to go home tonight. I am disgusted. I dont know that I want to be in this relationship anymore. I put up w/crap because of HIM. PSYCHO ex, because of him, unruly children, because of him.. NOW.. PORN, I dont think so.
He also cheated on the ex, So I guess I should go looking for signs of that, as I am sure that a leopard doesnt really change their spots. I actually want to throw up right now. I am so sick to my stomach at this.
What a DUMBA$$
Like you wouldn't find this out being the one that pays the bills!! Unbelievable.
"OCD sucks"
Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to destroy.
--Henri de Lubac
He probably didnt count on
He probably didnt count on me checking out bank statements. This is an auto pay bill, so we dont get itemized bills, but I do check the account religously, not sure if he thought that I wouldnt call and ask about it?!?!?!
I checked his cell phone records, and all the numbers look like work numbers, I did the reverse look up on a lot of them... all military installations.
I just want a different life.
more aware
I think I would take his ex's warning a little more serious like you had already suggested, if he lies about this what else will he lie about ya know.
I understand your anger completely.
My FH lied to me about something silly and I nearly blew a gasket!
good luck frustrated.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
I want the effin life that I
I want the effin life that I HAD prior to meeting him. I want to be single and happy again. I want my money to be MY MONEY and have back my clean condo, my stress free life from the bm and the skids. I want to be able to spend my money w/o some one's ex questioning it.
WHY did I ever wish I were married???!?!?! WHY!? Its not that great. From where I am standing right now it SUCKS.
Sh*t that he has brought into this marriage..
NO SAVINGS
NO ASSETS
Bratty children
Psycho Ex that has assualted me and continues to belittle me
What I brought into the marriage:
A 401k
a F N HOUSE
NO BAGGAGE!!!!!
Even when we got Sport Ills.
Even when we got Sport Ills. swimsuit issue I hide it, which is embarrassing but it was an impulse... I find porn to be very disrespectful to our relationship, destructive to my self-esteem & trusting him, waste of time/money, leads to worse things. Like prostitutes & stuff involving children? I don't know but my imagination goes wild very easily. Not to mention -- what would the swins think if they saw it? Side note: my Dad passed away a year ago & I had to clean out house. So much porn it was disgusting. Every Playboy & Penthouse issue since 1960's. All his savings were gone, so I joked he must have invested it (my inheritance) in porn. Do the math & it was a chuck of change & keeping all the mags. was an indication he thought they were going to be worth money some day. Yuk!
same fear
I have put off my marriage since finding this site as well as putting off having FH live with me.
his younger two are fine, but his older one, is a nightmare, pot smoking beer drinking cigerette smoking jobless 9th grade educ. 18 y/o- and talk about anger issues.
I made out a contract for FH and his BS they follow the rules or they go, it is harsh but I dont want to end up hating him (FH) and his son will lead to that.
I DO NOT use my money to support him or his kids.
thank god for this site.
I am here PM me if you want to chat!
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
leave for a week and make him sweat
tell him lying is a deal breaker for you. then hand him a hustler magazine and a tube of vaseline and tell him to 'knock himself out.'
Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.
:(
I'm sorry FrustratedinMa.
$71 on porn. Hell, he could've bought you some GOOD lingerie and gotten the real deal.
I think the fibbing is worse though. I mean what is he thinking? I'd "accidentally" go get a hotel room and "accidentally" go have a spa day and "accidentally" go shopping to make myself feel better seven times over...
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
;)
accidentally have him catch u using ur vibrator...!!
I like unknown's suggestion
My ex lived in the bathroom with his porn mags and I hated it. Hated how unattractive it made me feel. Good luck frustratedinMA sorry you are having to go through this.
ohhhhh....
How I've missed the frying pan!
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
shoe on other foot...
I know if we did this type of thing to our men....they would feel the same way..I think alot would feel very "threatened", still have not figured out why they don't understand.????"~waiting on the world to change~"
They are wired different...
Testosterone.
It can make you crazy.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
in a world of "pigs" & "bitches"
your right CG, they are different, I have had that excuse tossed at me many times...."you know all men are known for their pig traits, and women for their bitchy ones" This is just not fair, and I'm really sick of the men that use this so-called trait to get off the hook when it comes to stuff like this. Don't mean to bash....sorry guys, but when does it end??"~waiting on the world to change~"
here's a little secret that will rattle his cage...
attend a sex party,come home with a bag of huge vibrating black dildos (to diminish the size of his manhood) and ask him when the next time he's going 'out'. seriously. how would he feel? a little taste of their own medicine always helps.
Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.
i also agree with unknown
Ya id leave for a couple of weeks...are the utilities etc in your name?
I know for me that if my guy was racking up 71 on porn he would be GONE!! If I cant do it for him than thats it! THat would totally discust me to no end!!!
Good luck.....oh and the frying pan sounds good too!
I hate to play devil's
I hate to play devil's advocate but all men watch porn. Those who say they don't are liars. Some have a problem with it and some do it once in awhile. Men do not relate porn to their wives. It is a separate thing. It does not mean he is not satisfied with you any more than him masturbating means this. It sucks about the money he spent, though. I would have a conversation about this with him. The only reason he lied about it is because he knows you will be disappointed and he is afraid of your scorn. Give the guy a break. My advice it to try and be a little understanding. And yes, I am a woman. I can understand how you feel. Women take our men watching porn as an insult. We shouldn't.