That just plain sucks. I am also looking at putting my BD1 into daycare shortly cuz I have to go back to work. DH's job doesn't pay the bills and the skids are right there to ask for more more more! I've been touring daycares this week and come home in tears. I try to think about the fact that I'm needing to provide for my daughter so she can have those nice things.....NOT that my job will be used to pay for more of the skids stuff.

"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean people aren't out to get me"

I hated having to do that to, when my son was born, and at least I was leaving him with DH. (I would work on my DH's days off) so we could afford, just barely, having SS live w/ us full time, and the baby. And BM was sitting on her butt with her new DH supporting it, and just her daughter at home with her. Now 2 years later, everything is different, I'm home w/ my son full time (autism is a full time job) and SS is back with his mother, her DH is long gone, they are divorced and she now has to work to support herself insted of just living off CS and the support of others. Keep in mind, you never know what the future will bring. And every minute you spend with your baby will be wonderful, it's all in what you do with that time. When I was off work and home with my baby, it was all about him! You will still make wonderful memories, and your a successful woman who can work and be a great mom....so take that BM! ~ " I'm awful sorry you got pissed, just have to cross you off the list, of my true friends." PHISH~

I'll have to do the same thing once this baby is born. Go back to work while BM sits on her ass on the computer at her BF's house..with the skids in school. Just so I can cover the money we are losing paying her CS.

It makes me angry. A newborn has to suffer, get sick all the time and be away from mom so BM can sit on her ass all day. There's no reason for her not to work. She says she's a "stay at home mom"..but your kids are in school full time and you are a divorced parent on welfare. I thought you weren't like your family and made something of yourself?? Ha Ha Ha...every time I hear that it makes me laugh. You are exactly like them BM..on welfare and not working. My DH pulled you out of the gutter when he married you. Apparently you missed it, cause you went right back when you got divorced. In your narcissistic ignorance you still act/think that you're better than everybody else. I can't wait until someone proves you wrong. Won't be me though...you aren't worth it.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on." ~Robert Frost

I'm 38 weeks today and I'm already frustrated with the fact that BM gets to sit her lazy ass at home while I get to work to support her child because she won't pay a dime for him and milks the system so she doesn't have to work.

I know that sucks!!! HUGS for you today!

Oh man, does your story hit close to home! This is so unfair to you. I don't even know what to say to console you.

I'm almost 5 months pregnant & this has been on my mind frequently. I've always assumed that when I had kids, I'd get to be a stay at home mom. But you know what assuming does! I've crunched the numbers many times. We cannot make it on my husband's salary. We don't live extravagant lifestyles & cannot cut back much more than we have already. Yet whenever I mention this to my husband, he says we'll manage somehow (so I can stay home with the baby). But my question is HOW?! (I want specifics!) Especially if BM gets full custody & we have to pay her child support. This is going to take away even more money that we won't have. I'm terrified of our finances. I'm the one who pays the bills & juggles everything, so I KNOW what things will look like without my income.

In order to deal with this logically, I'm working on paying down the little bit of debt we have. I'm also thinking of ways to save even more money if I do stay home, such as making more meals from scratch & freezing them (no more buying frozen pizza, store bought cookies, bread, etc.). It would save us money. I'd do it now if I had the time. I'm trying to come up with ways to cut back on other expenses & I'm sure I can get creative!

Another thing is that I make jewelry & if I can get into more craft fairs this fall/winter, I can make some extra money doing that. Assuming I'm able to find time to still work on jewelry after I have the baby, this is possible income for me. Plus, every Memorial Day weekend, my mom & I have a HUGE garage sale. We make an large amount of money doing this. So I spend the rest of the year finding items to sell, cleaning them up & pricing them. Definitely worth the effort considering that most years I make well over $500 in 2 days (& have fun doing it!). I also do pet-sitting as a side job, but I know my days of doing that are numbered! (Unless I can work around my husband's schedule & he can watch the baby while I pet-sit.)

I know these things don't sound like much, but chunks of money here & there add up. I also cut coupons, print some coupons online, shop sales, etc. I don't care if people laugh at me or think I'm wasting my time. I end up saving quite a bit of money this way!

I'm still not sure if I'll have to go back to work after the baby is born. I might have no other choice. I might have to at least work a part-time job, maybe nights or weekends. I have no freakin' clue! And it's scary. I want to be with my baby, too. Not working somewhere spending all day thinking about my baby! I don't know your financial situation...you might be worse off than we are...but if you really want to be with your baby, it might be worth going over EVERYTHING again (since I'm sure you've done it at least once already!). See if you can make any cuts, find ways to save money, etc. Oh, and your husband should make some cuts if he's spending too much on doing things with the skids EOW. He needs to think about the baby you now share. Your baby is more important than all the "stuff" & should come before paying for the skids' activities. Sometimes you just can't afford things. Kids can be told this.

Sorry this is so long! It's just something I've been going over & over in my head for the past few months. I also understand your anger at BM. It really isn't fair. Trust me, I know!!!

Take a deep breath and recognize that your son will thrive as long as you love him and are committed to caring for him.

I bitch about this rather regularly. I had to go back to work when my youngest was 6 weeks old! That sucked big time. I felt so bad leaving my teeny baby. Betweem the time I woke her up and took her to daycare and picked her up in the evening and put her to bed, I was only having about 3.5 hours a day with her. Plus I had another daughter three years older to divide my time.

I still face this, as I still work full time. Meanwhile, BD sits on her butt at home and ridicules DH and I for "paying someone else to raise our kids." Excuse me? DH is paying you to raise HIS kid. And all her kids are in school, so what is it she has to do at home?

I hate that BMs get away with this shit, they really are sorry excuses for human beings. DH's BM hasn't worked since she was 3 months pregnant citing that pregnancy is a disability (MY ASS!). There was nothing wrong with her unless you can quote laziness as an illness. I worked my ass off until I was 9 months pregnant on a GERIATRIC PSYCHIATRIC FLOOR at a hospital and was punched in the stomach repeatedly by demented patients on different occasions, and went home every night crying in pain because my back hurt so much. But I toughed it out. Her sorry ass and her her sorry ass sisters all had a master plan to get pregnant by different men and just sit home and collect child support. So she gets a brand new TV and a Wii (does a 18 month old need a WII? But yeah, CS paid for that), and new frniture every month while I slave at work just to cover all the other bills. God, I hope she gets her just deserts some day. I feel your pain!!!!!

That is the hardest day......going back to work. You aren't alone. I wish I lived closer so I could take care of your little peanut! Just remember karma- she will get what she deserves one of these days. Big hugs!!!!