You are here

No End in Sight

frustratedstepdad's picture

So as of last night SD22 is now renting a room from somebody for $300 a month. Of course she still claims that she will eventually get a place big enough so that her son can live with her too, but I really don't see that happening. She blows through money like it's going to rot in her purse if she lets it sit in there for too long.

I think I might as well get used to the idea of raising her son for the next 15+ years. Still pisses me off though to hear how much fun she's having going to the beach, going on dates etc while we are busy raising her child. Like someone said, I'll just have to take it one week at a time. Trying to think about the "big picture" will just drive me crazy.

Comments

just.his.wife's picture

I really think you and your wife need to file abandonment charges, get custody of this child and SD22 can start paying you child support.

Either the filing will have her come collecting her kid, thusly removing her responsibility from your shoulders or her party hardy life style gets curbed a bit when she has to pay for her responsibilities since she is not taking care of them herself.

overworkedmom's picture

I agree with this too! You have to make her take responsibility one way or another. I see where your wife is coming from not wanting the child to suffer for his mothers incompetence and inability to grow up, however she still has to be held accountable. File charges, secure custody and CS. It might not be much but at least every month that she has to write out a check will remind her that she has a child she left behind.

herewegoagain's picture

I agree that if the "mom" is not taking care of the child, you need to file for custody. Yes, it's ridiculous that you have to do this. My best friend and her husband had to do this. They of course, never received a PENNY in CS from the bio-mom, only from the bio-dad, go figure...but although they hated it, it allowed them to take full control of the kid's life without the parent's having any say. It actually even allowed their son to grow up. After 9 yrs of having the kiddo with them, the dad now has custody with his new wife and they are doing great. Bio-mom? Well, who knows.

Willow2010's picture

I cannot stress this enough!! Get this legalized ASAP.

Because this is what I see happening. You and your wife will raise the kid for a few years. You will probably get VERY attached to this child. You will see him as your son and her he will see you as his father. All is great in your life.

THEN…you SD finds another degenerate drug user/abuser/ loser to be a ho bag with. That loser will question why SD is not raising her own kid. So then SD swoops back in, rips the kid away from the only father/family, he has ever known and you can do NOTHING about it. You will just get to sit back and hope this one does not kill the child of hers also.

I can’t stress how important it is to legalize.

frustratedstepdad's picture

Right now we have all signed temporary guardianship papers until she gets a place for herself and her son. I think most of you are right. What we're probably gonna have to do is give her an absolute deadline for this to happen, because otherwise she'll just keep partying.

We give her a reasonable deadline to acquire a place for herself and her son, or we will file for custody which means she has to pay child support. Either she will have to step up to the plate or just sign him over.

overworkedmom's picture

Flabbergasted is right. The reasonable deadline was when the OB said "Push!". She had 9 months to get it together and now has to step up, your DW is really doing no service to her daughter by letting this go on. I really and truly believe that you need to do this today. Don't wait any longer.

Mom2TwinsnTeens's picture

Yea. We have "temporary guardianship" papers too. Signed 2 years ago. SS17 isn't even DHs kid and I'm betting that his biodad still pays BM the CS