OT - Problems with my daughter's biodad...PLEASE HELP
I am having some major issues here. A little background info: My daughter began visitations EOW with her dad when he got out of prison in April. Everything has begun to transition with her being okay over there on his weekend visits without her freaking out and wanting to come home. However, I feel like he stepped out of prison, right onto a high horse.
1. He doesn't think she is clean enough when she comes home from school (on his fridays that he picks her up).
~she is a 4 year old kid at daycare - why would she come home sparkling clean...???
2. He doesn't think I feed her healthy enough foods.
~because I allow her to have chips, etc. (not in excess) and she eats regular, healthy meals
3. He told a friend of mine that I don't bathe her, and that he gives her a bath TWICE A DAY???? and is the only one who puts her eczema cream on her
~this one is simply NOT TRUE. I bathe my daughter, and I AM THE ONLY ONE who puts the cream on her. He refuses, saying it doesn't help her anyway. WTF??? He also wouldn't give her the laxative her doctor recommended when she was having MAJOR stomach issues and couldn't poop for a WEEK.
I AM EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED AS I FEEL I HAVE MADE THIS AS EASY AS I POSSIBLY COULD ON EVERYONE, EXCEPT FOR ME. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY HE IS CONTINUALLY BASHING ME. HE MAKES IT A POINT EVERY TIME HE GIVES ME "CHILD SUPPORT" TO REMIND ME HE NEEDS RECEIPTS ETC. FOR "DOCUMENTATION". GIVE ME A BREAK! I TOOK CARE OF HER THE 4 YEARS HE WAS IN PRISON AND HE COMES OUT OF THERE QUESTIONING AND DISRESPECTING ME. HOW SHOULD I HANDLE IT???????????
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Take on a 'Who Gives a Shit' attitude!`
FutureSM...who freakin' cares what this EX-CON is saying about you! You have to try to shrug this off (easier said then done). But really....who is he talking to? And...do they believe him?
I mean...dudes an Ex-Con! His credibility is ZERO! Who the eff cares what he has to say about your SD's cleanliness? You know the truth...your friends and family knows the truth...don't listen to the crap coming out of his mouth. You have been the bigger person all along, try to take this for what it is...a pathetic man trying his best to 'discredit you' the only way he knows how...by taking potshots at you parenting.
It's pathetic really!
grr
Hey FutureSM, I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through. This guy sounds like a real unappreciative jerk. (for lack of better words.) I wish I had some good advice for you. All I can say is, unless the court tells you that you need to provide receipts, DONT. Do you two have court ordered custody? If not, get it!
I wish you all the best! You sound like a good Mom, dont let him make you feel otherwise.
Receipts??
He needs a receipt that he gave you child support? I can understand that. But if he needs receipts proving that you are spending the child support on the child, he's not entitled to that.
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Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!
No way!
He CANNOT ask you for receipts of what you spend child support on! A couple weeks ago I posted my fb status of: getting a mani/pedi... thank you child support money! LOL!! Now, EH and I can joke like that... but the principle is the same... YOU spend your money as well as child support money on what needs to be done/bought/paid for... he has NO right to question what you do for the benefit of your child!
I do not have court ordered custody...
What does that mean? Does he have just as much right to take her as I do? Even though he has been in prison for the last 4 years????????????? help!
just meant
have you have you been to domestics yet?
Honestly....
If I were you I would ct off visits. Or tell him that you decided this was to hard on BD and he can see her EO Saturday.
After 6 months of this I would file for sole custody and CS.
He is crazy and needs some serious help.
Honestly....
double post
My Ex is the same way
Quick to get on me for not always being on point but yet he does NOTHING and gives NOTHING.
Example:
I brought my son the wrong uniform shirt color so I had to run after work and switch them, so I was in a hurry when we meet up for kid exchange. He got real sarcastic and was like "good job". WTF? So I'm like "so show me what you brought. Oh thats right, nothing" and walked off.
They do it to compensate for being a loser. The fact that your ex has done time and you are nice enough to let your daughter go with him for unseprvised visits should be enough. He's just trying to one up you. Don't worry, I'm sure noone believes him.
I am so sorry for what you
I am so sorry for what you are going though. My ex is the perfect example of an absent father who pencils in 12 hrs a month for my bs.
Although I have raised him myself and and now with dh. bf was never a big part of his life. I lowered his child support (when the courts told me I could have it increased, make an effort to keep involved etc
I mentioned to him how his son misses him and would like to see him more and how it affects him when he does not show up and he freaked.
I was a f**king c**t, a waste of skin and he was calling child services on me because I only feed him toast. (okay whatever)
My ex as much as he threatens will never take my bs because he honestly doesn't want him. He is far to selfish. He could though if he had it in him because there is nothing in writing saying I have sole custody.
I would check into what your custody agreement. Do you have legal full custody? You know you are taking good care of your child and what he says is bullshit.
I know though it is a slap in the face and makes you fearful of what he is trying to do. your ex seems alittle off balance and I would probably consult someone who can help you with legal issues.
He is just unbelievable...
I am curious though, do I need a court ordered custody schedule? Why should I have to pay to go to court and get custody of her, when i have been the only parent for her for the last 4 years? The system is frustrating. And I wish his stupid ass would be a little more appreciative that I have been the best mother I could be for our daughter, who I might add, is extremely brilliant and well rounded. That is all thanks to me. Not him. A$$hole!
I know how you feel My bs is
I know how you feel My bs is a great kid an honor student and he will never acknowledge that I had any part of it.
I have not gone to court for two reasons
1) don't have the money
2) i am alittle afaid if I do now he will fight me just to hurt me.
honestly my sons bf is an idiot and I know he thinks it is all on paper because it has always been this way.
I think you can call legal assistance and get free advice or they have a sliding scale. I guess it depends were you live.
As for him being in jail and absent for 4 years I would think that works to your benefit. I am honestly not sure if would have as much rights or not. Just to put your mind at ease check to see if you can talk to someone with legal aid and find out.
Just remember your a good mom, doing it yourself. your child is well rounded and smart because of you your absoulutely right!!!
THANKS! Get this though....
After all of the trash talking Biodad did this week, now he can't keep her for his schedule EOW visit because he is "on-call" for work. LOL. You would think that when you only get 4 days a month with your child, you would make your work schedule fit your visitation schedule. I'm happy about it though! I love having my sweet girl with me!
Typical!!! My ex once
Typical!!! My ex once called me the day he was supposed to pick up my son to tell me he was in another state on vacation???? what an idiot. enjoy your weekend with your baby!