I think by middle school, they should be able to keep an agenda and complete their homework without too much supervision. Reminders here and there, sure. At least that was my experience with BS17.

I stopped for BS at 4th grade. But he was highly motivated and honestly, I already was struggling with the math. He is not like other kids. SS15, DH has to stay on top of him to get the A's and B's he is more than capable of. He is lazy. It really depends on the child.

But, I am of the belief that we set expectations early at 5 and 6 what we expect of them and they just do it. Eventually it is habit.

I'm 50 and have 3 bios. I never, EVER helped them with homework. If they were having trouble with something, I told them to leave it blank and ask about it the next day. I have a lawyer (got a full ride), one headed to grad school (full ride), and Dd14 got accepted into a prestigious preforming arts school for creative writing, for high school in the fall. So I have the PROOF that my approach works. IDK what I would do if they didn't do it- I guess I "wouldn't do" making dinner or giving them rides. }:)

I agree with the posters above. By 4th grade, kids should be responsible for their homework. So if they are "forgetting" homework at school, "forgetting" to put something in their agenda books, ect, it is willful and the kid is trying to get out of doing homework.

Kids like my SS (who is 14 have ADHD) need CONSTANT supervision. It's unfortunate because unless they are pushed/encouraged, these kids are happy to do the bare minimum or make no effort at all if they think they can get away with it.

When a kid is old enough to recall that their fun soccer games are Tuesday nights and BestFriend's birthday party is next Friday and the LatestGreatest video game release date is xx/xx/2014 then they're old enough to remember homework.

That's how I gauge it anyway.

As a poster above said school work and homework is their job. I tell my BS7 this, mommy has a job and has to go to the hospital and work, or I lose my job, my money and everything else. His job is to do his homework and schoolwork. If he doesn't do it I will "fire" him from fun stuff. He likes that analogy and will often say "mom, I need quiet time for my job" when he wants to do his homework.

Now, in terms of actually doing it, he gets his homework packet and knows he has to at least TRY and do it on its own. There is always a portion of "together" work where the parent and child sign that they worked on it together - this is actually great as it usually involves reading, and I find my son is much better at adding intonation after he hears it from me.

In terms of BS7, he needs extra help with any writing. Therefore I need to keep an eye on his math as he struggles so badly - he has the right answer, but cannot figure out how to write it down. He can tell me, but there is a disconnect between his brain and hand! His teacher is pretty sure he has dyspraxia (a form of dyslexia, where they can read but not write). So, he needs encouragement as he gets extremely frustrated and will sometimes cry and say "why won't my brain let me write the answer down". We are teaching him tricks.

So, in many respects I have the opposite issue of other parents - I do not need to remind him, but I do need to assist. Depending on how his writing progresses, will depend on how much help he will need. When I had the steps, SD, now 14, was extremely dyslexic, and we would have to help her a lot. Homework that takes other kids 10 minutes could take her hours, her BM says she still sometimes helps, more with tricks to help with the dyslexia, but the kid has a 3.0!!! Ex-SD12 and SS9 never needed any assistance and hold 4.0's, but they would need telling to actually do it!!

Kind of sucks when the kids that can do it, don't, and the kids who struggle try so hard. BS7 asks why his brain does not work right, but I just praise and encourage. Last thing I need is him being turned off from it (oh and he is an absolute math genius - like scary good (and I have Master's degrees in biochemistry, so I can spot this!), if only he could right it down!

I think a lot of it depends on the kid. OSD hates homework. She is lazy. She is old enough to remember to do it but would "forget" things at school. DH likes punishments that fit crimes. He spoke to her teachers and asked if for a week they would write her assignments in her planner for her in front of the class, it took about two days and she was so embarrassed the whole "forgetting" homework seemed to miraculously stop. A few weeks later she said things were done, when she went to bed DH logged into the school website and checked, she hadn't done things so he woke her up at 5am to do them.

The only advice I have when dealing with a lazy kid in regards to homework would be to make it more of a pain not to do it than to do it. It worked like a charm with OSD.