First Time Blogger, Long Time Step-Mom. LOL! I'm embarrassed to say, I don't know what "DH" stands for. I used it here as Dad/Husband???

When I began dating my DH, 11 years ago, he had been separated from BM for over a year. He had his son EVERY Friday afternoon through Sunday night. On the weeknights (M-Th), BM had the child. (actually BM's mom had him mostly cuz BM was a bar-hopper) This worked out well because my daughter was the same age as his son (4y) and we enjoyed doing things with our children every weekend. If fact, this went on for many, many years. DH and BM were never married, never had any legal custody paperwork or parenting plan. DH gave BM $200 per month -EVERY MONTH! Consistently! I know that doesn't sound like much but BM had a pretty good job and made quite a bit more that DH. In fact when DH was laid-off and broke, BM DEMANDED the $200 and would make sure that we knew she blew it on new clothes, trips to the bar, etc. DH also gave her money for clothes, school supplies, doctor appts, and pretty much anything else she asked for. As crazy as it sounds, he even gave her a car at one point because she "guilted" him into it. She said she had to have a car to be able to take SS to the doctor, get groceries for SS, etc. I never made a big deal about any of this, even though I knew she was being manipulative. Maybe it was because my daughter's dad was a real DEAD BEAT and I admired my husband for being such a "stand-up" guy. As years past, I began to recognize that BM was very jealous of our family dynamics. DH and I have a wonderful relationship. He's a great husband and father. One day, out of the blue, BM told us that she was moving half way across the US to "start a new life" and that she was taking SS (then age 11) with her. DH literally begged her not to go, but since paternity had not been established, she took SS anyway! We spent thousands of dollars and cried many tears, but after a long custody battle BM was ordered to have the child back in the state, and was required to live within 35 miles from DH's house(Of coarse, she chose to move into an apartment 37miles from DH). DH was ordered to continue to pay $200/month child-support and was awarded every-other-weekend and Wednesdays for visitation which sucked to drive 37 mls each way at 6am Thursday & Monday mornings, and we didn't get to see SS as much as we once did, but at least he wasn't 1000 miles away! Unfortunately, this was extremely stressful on everyone, especially SS. He began to have major problems in school -academically and socially. He was becoming defiant and disrespectful to his mom, began "cutting" himself, actually talked about killing his mom. It was bad! That summer,we finally convinced BM that SS would be better off living with us. We continued to pay her child-support thru the summer and SS began to be his "old self" again. BM could not handle the fact that SS was doing so well with his father and I (and step-sister). She actually called me to make sure that I understood that just because SS was living with us, she was his mom, not me! BM now lives less than 2 miles from my home(boo), and SS is at her house for 7 days/our house for 7 days. Dad asked to have child support dropped but she refused. She suggested that DH just continue to have his paycheck garnished, and she would give the debit card(child-support card) to him. "Just in case it didn't work out or something". I forgot to mention that BM was ordered to maintain Health Insurance for SS in the custody/parenting paperwork. Anyway, it's been almost TWO YEARS now, and not only is DH still carrying around a debit card (with BM's name on it) in his wallet, but we've been providing Health Insurance @ $200/month. She told DH that if he would provide Insurance, she would pay for half of it. She paid him $80/month for four months and is over six months behind. When DH asks her to pay, she simply says she doesn't have it. Oh, is that all you have to do?! Wish we would have know that a few years ago when we were eating hamburger helper every night and she was buying a new Coach purse every week. What's wrong with this picture?!? This is the shortest version that I can come up with. We went to our attorney last week and I can get into all of that in a later blog entry (maybe if anyone is interested). I have had ELEVEN years experience dealing with a CRAZY, JEALOUS, CONTROL-FREAK WEIRDO. I have so many stories to share...