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any trapeze artists who hung onto the bar?

girlfriend in a coma's picture

Submitted by girlfriend in a coma on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 9:52pm

I've been benefiting silently from some of the posts here, so I thought I would chime in, finally. I'm in a #-year relationship with a father of # sufficiently pleasant teenagers. They appear well-adjusted to ongoing joint physical custody and are outwardly accepting of my role in their father's life. (Here it comes:) He is finalizing his divorce. The "end game" that he has insisted he's in has been dragging on past the point of the absurd. Needless to say this is a sour note in an otherwise lovely melody. I realize it's hard to give advice in the absence of detail, but I'm counting on this scenario to be familiar to at least a few here. So, to those of you who hung in there, I'm asking a) how has your relationship worked out b) if you would make the same choice had you to do it over c) how have you managed resentment, if you felt it d) did you discuss the hardships of waiting it out with your partner -- how successful were you in making your voice heard? I'm trying to restore a more fair and balanced version of myself while avoiding the usual (and unhelpful) "well, honey, you shoulda thought about that before!" type of criticism. Of course, you all are free to unload whatever opinion you wish. Smile Thanks in advance for sharing.

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Lovemystepkids37's picture

Submitted by Lovemystepkids37 on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 10:30pm

I played this game for 5 years in a passed relationship...Turns out I was transition girl....After the divorce was over so were we. I had served my pupose. He was also still sleeping with her for 2 years of our relationship ( I found out later). After it ended I started dating my husband now. He was already divorced for 2 years and custody and child support were already in place. Sounds great right? Wrong! We have been married for 6 years now but that is not without drama and BS that never needed to happen just because and ex wants to have control of him still due to the fact that she is still of mother of his children and should have top rank. As you can see, I love my step children and I adore my husband but the whole step family thing is rarely harmoneiess you know?
If they are not divorced yet these "pleasant" teenagers you speak of may just be holding on to the hope that your place in their fathers life is temporary and that mom and dad will one day be back together... In this case the devils will come out when the divorce is final and you may find yourself getting a heck of alot more than bagained for. I have found that if you gut is making you asking questions there is usually a good reason for it. Best of luck to you and please let me know how it turns out for you all : )