Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya, Adios, Bye Bye, Peace Out!!!

I can not believe he left you and is about to sign a 6 month lease. I think thats saying something. Move on with your life. Its not worth it. He should have took up for you and made his daughter act right.

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

No fixin' this one sweetie. He's already made his choice. Asking him back now and taking the SD as part of the package will only lead to a life of drama, resentment and disrespect. You will be telling both of them that you are a doormat and they will treat you accordingly. Let him sign the lease. Who knows? In six months of dealing with her stress and BS he may be ready to send her back himself.

This girl has been through a lot of changes. Did she have the time to really get to know you before she came here? Why did she come here? Is her mom in the picture? All of a sudden, here she is in a new house and country, having to adapt to a different culture, different customs, different rules, and whatever events in her life that led up to her coming to your home. I think a healthy dose of empathy for her would go a long way.

I think that before you get back together with your husband, you need to think about how your life has been since he moved out. Has it been less stressful? Is it hard? Are you depressed?

If you truly want to get back together with him, you need to get couples' counseling and get some good counseling for SD. Her doctor, or any doctor who treats adolescents, would know of some good counselors who could help her.

It does say something. What about the commitment he made to you as a husband. If he's willing to sign a lease, but not willing to make his daughter act right and respect his wife and live in the same home to appease the brat?

If you took him (and her) back, I think it will only get worse. How would your marriage be - could you look at him the same again? For better or for worse . . . he runs. Will he do this every time life hits a bump. Not to mention, how else will the SD destroy your life?

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Whatever decision you make, place yourself 1st in the equation - it's obvious he won't, so you need to take care of yourself.

Let it go. Move on. If you let them back what you are saying is that it is ok for them to walk all over you. You will never have peace in your house. You are not the one who i wrong. Let it go. Consider yourself lucky.

Goaway,
I went through this very situation, except the daugther was not from another country but her mom sent her to live with us. I could not deal with the disrespect and most of all, his letting her disrespect me. It has been almost a year now since he moved out with his daughter. I am better today because of it. I do miss him, but I have found another man who is willing to treat me with respect. I know how you feel and what you are going through. It took a while to get through the hurt and pain, but my life is more peaceful now. I had to accept the fact that my husband would rather respect his daughter and do anything she said than respect me or do half of anything I requested. Just know that you CAN live without him. I am doing fine now and I am SO in love with another wonderful guy that I wasn't expecting to meet, but did!

Let them go. He isn't going to change her and he has decided she is more important...even if she is wrong. Not worth it...I know it hurts, my DH chooses his daughter over me and our other children even when she is REALLY wrong and the person who is causing the problems. They make themselves responsible and can't stand the separation...if he can give you up but not her, you are not being treated as well as you are worth. Basically you have to disagree to be treated like crap just so he doesn't have to feel any pain and his kid can act like an ass...no freakin way. As hard as it is, I'd be thankful he left. My SD was invited back in without my consent...it would be very difficult for me to ever get my DH to leave...he'd rather force me to put up with her than be separated from her on bad terms. Sucks...

the stepdaughter was 16 and very manipulative. He was a disneyland dad who gave her adult-wife status.