I am totally disengaged, well not 100% but as much as I can feel good about doing. I make sure SD has food and clothing, watch her after school, and occasionally if I feel like I'm in a generous mood, I'll buy her a present, and thats about it. Really she's not that bad of a kid, great grades, pretty much leaves me alone if I leave her alone... my DH just really sucks as a parent, he's got a weird relationship with her, he treats like she's an adult and they have an adult relationship, very ewww, he's let her develop some pretty nasty habits, like boasting, and pouting, and tattling, and bossing, and whining, and lying, because he's got this BFF relationship with her and within that BFF relationship he can't tell her not to do that. In fact, he can't really tell her to do anything.

Anyway, DH our kids, and I took a weekend trip without SD, mostly because it was my b-day, I planned it, and I didn't want to have deal with her.

I guess it pissed SD off that I didn't include her, so she got her puppet out (DH), to bark at me. I just told him over and over again, not my kid, not my problem. He can't tell her to behave, and I don't want her there. But, I guess he thinks it's my problem I don't want to include her (Ha!). He never appreciated it when I did try to include her, and let her walk all over me, all while complaining about it, and now he's in the drivers seat, alone, and still complaining... about what I'm not sure, I have literally done nothing. She's his daughter, he wasn't trying to include her either... So he's complaining about having to be a bad guy, and SD giving him the silent treatment when he, all of a sudden, after 10 or so years starts calling her out on her bratty behavior towards me (oh noos)...

Anyway just strengthens my resolve to wash my hands of his wacky mess, I'm so glad I'm not involved anymore. It's so much easier not to take this stupid BS personally. Though I'm not happy that he still thinks this is somehow my fault. He's the one who let his kid dance circles around him and treat his wife like her very own verbal punching bag, then wonders why his wife wants nothing to do with the brat he created.

Anyway that explains why SD was even here this weekend, of course DH was ecstatic, made her a super special breakfast, and made super special plans... I mean you gotta celebrate when SD chooses to spend time here rather than with BM right? cause she wants to be here and a part of our family, and she wants to be included on the once in a blue moon trip we take without her... so she was here instead of at her moms, and to my wonder, she spent the weekend vigorously cleaning her room, and she actually asked to help our kids with chores, and asked to help me (after DH told her to), all of this for DH's benefit of course... However, when DH goes to work, and she has our kids cleaning up after her once more, while she disappears into her room. Ooh and she actually smiled at me, and talked to me, really all it was, was asking me where something was, according to DH I should be doing cartwheels, because she's a transformed person!...um... (not)...

I'm betting it lasts a week, maybe two, before it's all forgotten.... as soon as SD sucks up all the special treatment from her BM and DH to make up what a horrible situation she's in, and she feels better, and of course DH will get tired of having to actually monitor what his kid is doing... because it's just tooo hard discipline a kid that's only here for a week (or two) at a time. Then it will be back to the normal SD either insulting or ignoring me, hiding from chores, and DH sticking his head in the sand, and his BFF at his side once again.