I'm happy to report that I have nothing to complain about FINALLY and thank you GOD! It's been 8 years of frustration and turmoil but now things are better and I can finally say I'm content with my blended family.

It's not perfect, but it's a far cry from where it used to be. It really boiled down to a collaborative effort on everyone's part (Myself, DH, kids & BM). We are all evolving and things are looking up. Do I always agree with DH and how he manages his kids and BM? NO, but I've learned to not take it personal. Do I have a solid meaningful connection with my skids? No, but it has come a long way. As they get older, I can see the maturity developing in them and it's really made a difference in how we interact with one another. My SD19 is now in her 2nd year of college, she is in school across the country. When she comes to visit, she is definately more social and personable. I believe leaving the nest and growing into womanhood and experiencing real life (work/life/school balance) has done wonders for her personal growth. I actually enjoy her visits whereas I used to dread them when she was still a minor.

My youngest SS14 was the one I despised the most. I never got along with him and he was always a total nightmare. He now lives with us full time and I can honestly say he doesnt bother me anymore. We now interact more than we ever have. He actually talks to me, looks me in the eye when he talks to me, and isn't as standoffish as he used to be. We've even enjoyed a few laughs together and have talked to each other more in the last few months than we ever have in 8 years. baby steps. small victories.

As for BM, I will never be a fan but we are cordial, we can chat and small talk, smile and even hug one another when we see each other. It should have been this way from the beginning but I'm grateful for the progress nonetheless.

DH is less apt to get suckered into BM's antics, excuses and demands. Now that she lives 500 miles away and has left the kids with us full time so that she can pursue her own interests, he has really cut back on contact with her and has less tolerance for her excuses. He is a lot happier now that he doesnt have to interact with her as much. I am happier too.

Just wanted to share some good news for a change and encourage those who have lost hope with their blended family situation. Things can really change for the better, just takes a ton of patience, a zillion breakdowns in the process, trial and error, collective and collaborative effort from everyone involved and TONS OF PRAYER.