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19y/o stoner SS flunks out of college and joy is living with us this spring!

graham's picture

Submitted by graham on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 10:53am

I swear to god I will go crazy! He flunked out in only his 3rd semester. He lied all fall that he was working hard and really making an effort after being put on academic probation at the end of his 2nd semester. 4 F's this fall!!! Nice effort. He smokes pot daily, lays around the house, takes my shit whenever without asking, never picks up after himself, is blatantly disrespectful to his mom, is a chronic liar about everything, basically a fat, lazy slob! I want him out of the house but his mom just coddles him and says he needs our help. You know what, get a job and help yourself. I did not sign up to take care of a 19 y/o baby. I don't know if I can make it. His mom and I are already starting to fight about him and its only been 1 month.

God, I hate my life right now and see no solution to my misery.

Comments

december82's picture

Submitted by december82 on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 11:12am

Mine is a stoner SS17 who just dropped out of HS, and there is a very real possibility that he will be living with us in Feb. as his bio mom has said she it kicking him out. Since he has no job, Im sure our house is his go to plan! I can't offer any advice but i do feel ur pain lol!

TASHA1983's picture

Submitted by TASHA1983 on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 11:33am

Ugh that is awful! I dread that sooo much...no matter what age the skid is! If that EVER became a possibility in my life the same day he moves his brat in I WILL be moving out! PERIOD.

Have a nice life!!!! (I highly doubt it but have fun trying!!!)

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 12:29pm

UGH…why do people NOT talk about these things before getting married?

Just a few of the things that DH and I talked about BEFORE we got married…No one can live with us, if they do drugs. Any offspring over the age of 18 and out of high school, can live with us ONLY if they go to college full time (passing) AND work over 20 hours per week.

If you did not talk about this before marriage, you need to try and start talking to your wife ASAP. (She does not sound like a good mother at all).

graham's picture

Submitted by graham on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 1:00pm

Thanks all for your support Smile

I have no idea what I am going to do! I told him no smoking anywhere in my house or property and he had to get a job a.s.a.p. and that this is temporary. That was 3 weeks ago when we got his grades. Still no job, comes home stoned everynight and is always touching my stuff and leaving messes for me to clean up.

You all will laugh at this one. He came up to me yesterday and said he got a job! I said great, where? He told me he got accepted to be a volunteer fireman! I told him that volunteering is great but the pay sucks! He didn't get it :?

FML

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 2:10pm

These worthless POS skids should not be allowed to spend one night in their parents' homes.

DH knows that if he tries to let SS spend the night here they will BOTH be out on the street.

SS was without heat and power for 3-4 days and kept begging to come over. DH just kept saying no - didn't even mention it to me.

I heard him say "No, no and NO" on the phone.

dontcallmestepmom's picture

Submitted by dontcallmestepmom on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 3:11pm

I have 2 of my DH's 3 "kids" trying to move in here. BM wants them out, because no more CS makes them of no use to her now. She raised them to think that my DH would support them forever. They refuse to work, and do nothing but lie around all day. There is more, as it is getting to the point I think it would be a safety issue if they came here.

LUCKILY, I saw this before we married, and I made it clear to DH that they can never come here. I told him not to marry me if he was going to allow that, or if he was going to support them. He married me knowing this is a deal-breaker for me.

I feel badly for you, but if your wife is allowing it, you need to have a serious talk. This may be the end of your marriage, because I know that I would not and could not tolerate this. Only you know what you can and cannot handle. Your wife will let you know how she feels, and I hope she "chooses" you. Otherwise, this kid is not going to ever leave.

graham's picture

Submitted by graham on Thu, 01/03/2013 - 2:26pm

My problem is I love her but can't stand her kids. I am in the process of writing some house rules for him since she says she will but hasn't yet. Any suggestions of attempts at house rules?

nothinforya's picture

Submitted by nothinforya on Tue, 01/08/2013 - 9:55am

Drug test him. He can't get a job if he fails the drug test, so it demonstrates whether he is serious or not. My experience with stoners at that age is that they will not stop long enough to get a job if the stakes are not very high, such as being homeless if they fail the test.