Thanks CadysM- I hope things work out between you & your DH.

Hi Ladies. The B-day party is actually this coming Sat night. I'm trying to take one day at a time right now. Most Evil- I am no saint, but I do believe I am a genuinely nice person, and I definitely feel like I am being taken advantage of. I do feel like I'm being run over by a freight train... again, again & again! I do think about leaving but I also think about my kids & sd's. My BD11 is extremely close with SD10... it would break their hearts. My BS9 would eventually be ok because he is really not that close w/ the SD's. I also love my SD's & they love me, which is a miracle since BM is such a complete bitch to me (only oldest SD has recently noticed a little). Soverysad- I think you are right... he loves the attention from two woman. He is full of himself, always has been. When we first met it was more of an attractive confidence. Over the years it has become a very unattractive conceited, which is not even accurate! I will not stay because of what other people may think, I just really will feel like a failure if this marriage doesn't work out. I am not a perfect person, but this would mostly be from DH's actions & lack of boundaries. But I would still feel like I should have know better to believe things would change after we got married.

DH did go into the bedroom & find his ring & put it back on as soon as we got home that night, not that it makes anything better. The next day he said he was sorry, but didn't understand why I was so upset. Of course he says he just forget because he kept it off for a few days cuz his finger was swollen. I just let him talk... he knows why I'm pissed, and I think he did it intentionally just to upset me.

I went to lunch w/ my mom on sat & we had a long talk about what is going on. I am extremely close w/ my mom & tell her everything. I feel blessed that I have such a caring & loving mom. My mom had a lot of issues w/ my dad early in their marriage. He was basically an alcoholic, although a functioning one. When he would drink he was a mean drunk. Not physically abusive but loud & verbally abusive. He always left my brother & I alone but my poor mom was usually the target of his meanness. She stuck it out & they've been married for 38 yrs. I think he stopped drinking when I was about 14 or so. Things were better after that.

My mom thinks I should try & deal w/ this until I finish school. She really wants me to be more secure & prepared when I leave. She does not want me to go back to the same job I had before I got married. She said she would help if I felt I had to leave soon. I know my parents would do anything for me, but I really want to support myself & stand on my own. Talking with my mom really helped me process everything. I think I can hang on & sick it out until I finish school. I am going to disengage from anything that has to do w/ BM. I will still interact w/ sd'd but I will not go to any events that she is at anymore. There will be no more events planned at my home that she is allowed to attend. I will not speak about her w/ DH. If he has an issue w/ her, or she has an issue w/ me, I don't want to hear about it. Basically I am going to treat being a wife as a job for the next year & a half... If things don't get better I will get a good job w/ my new degree & leave his ass!

I know easier said than done but wish me luck & strength! And remind me to hide the kitchen knives on sat or I may be tempted to shove one up BM's fat ass!!!!