I'm sure someone will have something nasty to say about this, but hey, until you have to live my life, don't judge.
My SS4 and I have had an interesting relationship up till now. He hated me when I came into his fathers life(at the ripe old age of 2.5) And I was trying to get him to like me, but realized that hey, he's just mad because he thinks I'm taking his daddy attention away. Dh gets him EOW. Well, we can tollerate eachother now, and even have fun sometimes. This is all been progress of a feww interesting fights with DH to see that he was spoiling ss way bad, and not insisteng that ss respect me as a parental figure. Once DH stepped up and supported my role as a step mom, SS started coming around. All that said, I still find it hard to think that I might love the lil guy one day. he's so nasty sometimes, and spiteful.Im totally not exaggerating, as Dh agrees and now notices it and reprimands ss most of the time.

Dh's ex B***H originaly left him for another man when SS was almost 1. Around the time that we got married, she started saying that they were also engaged. I know both of them, and was really wondering how this was working, both of them being so unstable. Well, the last time we dropped SS off, the boyfriend met us for pickup ( cus shes too lazy to drive 5 min.) and He was like, " wow, haw did you stay with her for so long, I'm on my last leg with her. It's so over." then, the next pick up she actually showed up. We knew something was up, cus it's so not like her. With out hesitation she explains to us that it's over with the boyfriend, and that he is leaving. I bit my tonge so that something like *gee no wonder* wouldn't slip out. A week later, she calls DH up and beggs to let her move wiht her parents, who live in Florida. Aparently they own some nice property there, and would be easier for her to have a child . I had to try very hard not to look happy, or jump for joy, or show any sign of being ABSOLUTELY THRILLED! Hey, if you have Skids you would be thrilled too.
So, DH decides to let her go, but not before the CS agreement is amended. He currently pays 220 a week for that spoiled kid. She agrees to that.

He is sad that his son is moving away, and I feel for him, but we will get him for a month every summer, and the child will probably like the stability of not being shuttled back and forth between two homes on a regular basis. Dh then asks me if maybe we should try to get SS custody. I am like, what the heck would you do that? he loves his mom, and would not appreciate being raised by me ( cus that s what would happen, since Dh works long hours, and who do you think feeds, bathes, and cares for him now when he visits?) I tactfully said to DH that no, I didn't think that would be a wise decision, and X is not going to give him up easily anyways.
Well, he let me have it. He starts giving me a guilt trip, and saying that he must have married the wrong person, its wrong of me to feel that way, and how He would just have to hire a nanny when his son was around, so I wouldn't have to care for him. I was like, hey, wait a minute, our marriage is contingent on me and your son getting along? And if I want him to live with us? what happen to till death come what may? Is it just me or did he over exaggerate? We made up , and he totally backed down when I started reminding him of how far his son and I have come in our relationship, but I was like, hey, you cant just expect us to be best buds. SS wants his mom and dad in the same house, not step mom raising him. I just don't think it would be fair to take him away from his BM when she obviously still wants him for whatever reason, and we are trying to get ourselves in some kind of shape. DH has a lot of financial crap we are working through. I just know if he lived with us at this age, I will be the one giving all the care, and Dh will just be spending time on the weekends, which would now be every weekend. Not to mention that by the time our weekends with ss are over, he has had it up to here with ss and is relieved to drop him off. Am I the evil step mom or what?