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habsle's picture

Today SS comes home and doesn't say a word to me. When DH gets home,SS starts asking all kinds of questions. And I'm not alienated according to DH. That brat refused to talk to me and how else am I supposed to feel. When he does that I feel like I'm a bad person for not listening. But how can i listen if he doesn't even talk? I'm sitting in the office while they are chatting it up about the book he's reading. And it's my fault that I don't communicate with him. DON'T YOU SEE HE REFUSES TO TALK TO ME!!!!!!!!! Quit being blind to what I have to say. Take a real look at what's going on. Stop telling me what to do and take care of your damn son so that way I have an example to follow.

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habsle's picture

I ended up telling him today that since he has refused to talk to me, I told him the things he's missed out on. He refused to talk to me yesterday so I didn't tell him we were going to the science museum so we didn't go. He refuesed to talk to me today, I told him we missed the purple park today. He told his daddy that he was scared he was going to get in trouble when he talks to me. I don't understand!

Auteur's picture

"He told his daddy that he was scared he was going to get in trouble when he talks to me."

WATCH YOUR BACK! SS is setting you up and by the looks of it, biodad believes everything SS says and would take his word for something and not yours. If there's a BM in the picture you can be sure that PAS is going on to instigate this type of behaviour.

You may also hear such guilty-disney-doormat mantras as:

1. "my kids don't like you" (read: my kids don't like the fact that you're the only adult who can see through their bullshit, silent treatment, etc.)

2. "you're the adult here, why don't you TRY harder?" (read: I'm not going to teach my kids any manners or have any expectations of them. It's your job as an adult to make them feel good/entertain them)

3. "my kids are AFRAID of you"
(read: my kids don't like it that you are trying to get me to set boundaries for them, and i won't for fear of "losing them" to the BM (TM)

oceangirl3's picture

Ding, ding, ding! All of these I have heard and the best thing to do is completely disengage. I'm so tired of hearing that I need to be the one to make the relationship work with SD11. Sorry, but it takes two to tango. I know my SD11 is being PASed by BM. I have also heard the comment, that SD11 is afraid she will get in trouble when she talks to me. I'm sorry that I am the only one who holds you accountable for your words and actions in life. So, when it all got to much I disengaged. Trust me, this is the best thing you can do!