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My wonderful Step-Son

harleywine's picture

I'm disgruntled again about SS. I've been here 5 years. He's been living with his mom for the last 2 years. He's a spoiled 18 y/o. He comes and goes as he pleases, anytime of the night or day, takes whatever he wants from our home and has no respect for anyone or anything.
Since he's moved out we have been remolding our home room by room. I have hand picked flooring, colors, furniture, etc. The kid has no respect or appreciation for any of it.
A month ago, he calls daddy up and ask if he could have a party at our house. Dad says no because we were leaving and he didn't want a bunch of kids in the house when we're not home. We come back home about an hour later and we can't get in the driveway because theres a party going on! I want them all to leave, but daddy can't make DSS tell his friends to leave because that would embarrass him. So, instead I spend the evening alone in our bedroom while daddy plays host and SS learns the lesson that no matter what daddy says, he can do whatever he wants in our home. I say, he lives at his mom's house, have a party there!

I come home again today and of course he's blocking the garage so I can't put my car where it goes. That's about 50% of the time I want to either leave or come home. So, like always, I say "You need to move your car so I can put mine in the garage". And, like always, he continues to sit there and ignore me. So DH helps out like he always does by moving SS's car for him. If DH is not here, I just have to wait till SS's ready to move it. My opinion is that DH is re-in forcing SS's disrespect for me by showing him that he doesn't have to 1) park in the other half of the driveway & not block the garage and 2) move his car when I ask him to. It seems to me that if you would make him use the slight bit of effort it takes to go back downstairs and move it himself, maybe he would decide it's easier just to park the 8 feet away on the other side of the driveway. By the way, when I say he continues to sit there, I mean sit on our brand new coffee table & play Wii. It's beautiful, but not that sturdy of a table.
This is a petty issue, but it still pisses me off. I come home the other day and he's putting one of my Canadian bacon pizzas in the oven. I told him it was my pizza (I buy it with my money, we have separate accounts) and he says, "I know. I grabbed the wrong one". Besides the fact that he's got his very own spot in the freezer for his pepperoni pizzas (even though he doesn't live here)and obviously, it's clearly marked, when it's done he picks the Canadian bacon off and eats the crust because he doesn't like Canadian bacon.
We came home today (same blocking the garage story) he brings another pizza upstairs and I say "That's not one of mine again, is it?" with a smile. (I don't want to get into it with DH for not making SS feel welcome in his own house, according to DH) It wasn't. We leave again. Come home, he's gone and there on the kitchen table is the thawed out raw pizza on a pizza pan.
He's got a "job" now. He's "working" for a man with a turkey farm about 30 minutes away. He continues to hit daddy up for money almost daily. So I ask DH about SS getting paid. The guy is supposed to be paying him $7 per hour, but he doesn't have any money right now. So now DH "has" to give him even more "gas money" because he goes all the way out there all the time.
I wish it didn't stress me out so bad, but it's really all so stupid and could be changed so easily. This stupid stuff doesn't help my insomnia. I'm going to start seeing a therapist.

Comments

stepmom2one's picture

It is all little stuff but that little stuff adds up and is stressful. I totally understand where you are coming from.

My garage issue is a bit different since mine is not that some parks in front of it--it is that the door is broke, about 1 ft off the ground it stops--(we have to replace it next month) but it drives me insane! And believe me if there was someone to be angry at I would. All you want to do is drive into your garage and shut the door, that is not to much to ask, right?

I think you are right if SS did it himself he would be sure to park some where else. Your DH really should make him move it himself to teach him a lesson and prove the priniciple of it all. Though it doesn't seem like that is likely to happen.

I think going to a theripst to get some of this off of your chest is a great idea--try some sleeping pills too. Losing sleep will make everything much worse than it is.

fedup315's picture

Wow.. I don't mean any offense but your DH is a woose... I mean seriously this kid is not a kid anymore, he is 18 and lives with his mom... what the hell is he doing at your home univited? Does he have a key? Oh hell no.. I mean sure, invite him to dinner sometimes and things, but this coming and going as he pleases.. nope. HE chose mom to live with, she hets the tax deduction, she can feed him and buy his gas... sounds like there is a lot of guilt in your DH and it's not necessary... This young man will never grow up if he keeps enabling this behavior.