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another example of how his priorities are out of whack

hatemyhusband's picture

Yesterday right when it was about time for our 2 year olds bath and story and bedtime routine he gets a call from his 23 year old daughter that she is at work and she isn't sure if she left the stove on at her apartment. Her apartment is about an hour away from us but 5 minutes from her job. He normally likes to do the whole bedtime routine with our son cause he only gets to spend a couple hours with him on weekdays. By the time he gets home from work ans by the time it's our sons bedtime. So it's not any one thing. It's not that he went to check her stove. Its an overall pattern of years and years. That she's first and she gets all the understanding and all the benefit of the doubt. And I get thought of as garbage. I didn't say anything cause I was honestly relieved he was going and I would be away from him. And he's such a bully if I would have said something he'd say all the usual . I'm jelous of his daughter. I knew he had baggage. I hate historical daughter. I know this one thing is not apparent how bad it is......but its an overall pattern. The way she called and he rushed out. And it's an hour from us but 5 minutes from her. Didn't even attempt to problem solve..like she lives in a big high rise building. Is there a maintenance on call she could contact to check.could she call her mother? (The reason she doesn't is cause her mother doesn't cater to her like this) could she call a friend or coworker who lived close to check. It's the way he got the call and.no questions asked hurried to do her bidding. Whereas one time years ago I called him to jump start my car. Cause he was 10 minutes away. I called triple a too but sometimes the wait is long. And he refused to come give me a jump. Told me that is why we have triple a. He did end up coming and before triple a. But its how he gave me a hard time.....and his daughter called last night and he just about ran out. Our son is used to it too. He had no reaction when he told him daddy has to go but I'll see you tomorrow.

Comments

stressedstep's picture

Oh..so the usual pampered princess syndrome then.....I hope to god that my OH DOES not turn out like this with his daughter...he already panders to SD7 as it is..

I feel for you sweet ((((((HUGS)))))

Disneyfan's picture

THIS

. The daughter was five minutes away, dad was an hour away and neither adult thought to call super to handle the problem. Dad took at least two hours to do something that she could have done in 10 minutes. Hell, either one could have made a phone call in two minutes. This makes no sense at all. It's possible SD was just the excuse he used to get out of the house.

hatemyhusband's picture

Yes anything is possible ...but it boils down to the same disrespect. The same putting me beneath everyone else. His daughter is not enmeshed or overly involved with him or overly emotional or inappropriate touching like a lot of the stuff I read on here. In fact, she barely talks to him at all. She goes weeks without returning his calls, months without seeing him. Cancels plans literally 9 times out of ten on him. Has seen her half brother a handful of times. With her, when she wants something, she tells him and he does it. It could be a daily thing for s little bit then it could just be once every few months. It's more like a servant thing, like that's her servant, and when she makes a request he does it. She was 15 when we met, she's always been that way toward him since I met her. She's cordial with me, she's a cordial person in general socially, in any social situation she is polite and makes an effort to include everyone. Like as an example, on holidays I put out the food and plates and utensils, napkins, etc buffet style. Everyone including kids fixes their own plate. He will fix her plate, she keeps saying no please dad I can do it, she looks genuinely embarrassed cause everyone is fixing their own plate but her then he walks by me and deliberately gives me a dirty look like I should have fixed her plate. This is her as an adult when this happened. Or he will watch her drink carefully and get her a refill before she needs one or asks. It's a total servant situation I think.

Disneyfan's picture

It doesn't sound like you SD is the one causing problems. Heck, she doesn't sound lke the type of kid to call daddy when something goes wrong. If she isn't demand he wait on her hand and foot, there's no way she expected/demanded he make a two hour drive to check her stove.

Dude is up to something.

DarkStar's picture

Hon, I think you need to start planning an exit strategy for you and your sweet little boy. It may take months, but you can do it!!! You and your son will be so much happier and better off.
I wouldn't treat a casual acquaintance the way your husband treats you. I'm so sorry. Sad