My SO is on a deployment, and BM has SS5 as it is her week (summer visitation is every other week), and will keep SS5 till SO gets home on Wednesday (I'm excited!).

When SO is on deployment, BM never lets any of the family see SS5 (unless they happen to see them out and about somewhere). If I am lucky she will let me come over to her house and see SS5 occasionally, but never lets me take him to do anything. This would be understandable if I was some random girlfriend, or somebody who hadn't been around SS5 alot. But I have helped raise SS5 since he was an infant. He tells everybody he has a Mommy(BM), a Daddy(SO), and a Hayuh(me). He even asks his friends at school if they have a Hayuh. It melts my heart! BM knows this, and knows that SS5 loves me and I a good step mom to him, but has sever control issues.

Yesterday happened to be one of those days when she let me come see SS5. Before SO deployed SS5 kept asking me to come stay with him at his moms while Daddy was gone, even as BM was holding him as we were leaving he was reaching out and grabbing for the window of the car to get my attention wanting me to stay with him, and finally settled for me coming to visit him. I called her yesterday morning to see if I could come see SS5 tonight, after I get off work. She didn't answer or call me back until later that night. So I made plans earlier during the day to do some work, after I get off work at my full time job. My SO called later that night from where he is deployed and I told him that she had just called but I hadn't called her back yet because I was in the middle of something, and asked him if he would thank her for calling me back and let her know that I had already made plans to work since I hadn't heard back from her. SO called BM to talk to SS5, and he talked to him for a little bit and SS5 wanted to talk to me to and kept asking SO if I was there so he could talk to me. So SO called me back and told me that I needed to call BM because SS5 wanted to talk to me. I called BM and she said that SS5 wanted me to come see him.

This was around 8. I get some games to take over to play with him, and get over to BM's house around 830. I get there and SS5 sees me and comes running up to me and latches onto me yelling in excitement "hayuuuuhhhh." We play games for a little while and BM is unusually chatty, and in an unusually un-b**chy mood.

BM just had her new baby about a month ago. She is not with the baby's daddy, as he took off and moved out of state and doesn't really want to have anything to do with the child. BM and I are chatting back and forth and the subject of the baby's daddy comes up and she tells me that he moved away, and has never seen the baby, doesn't care to, and doesn't want a picture even. Shes crying because she feels bad for the baby, and is afraid that the baby is going to feel bad because SS5 has a Dad, and he doesn't. She kept saying how much she just wanted the baby's daddy to be a part of the baby's life. And I said I don't see how anybody could just write their child off like that, and not want to have anything to do with him. i said I'm not even SS5's mom, you are and I respect that, but I couldn't imagine not being a part of his life and just writing him off life like that. BM is crying and says she wouldn't want me to not be a part of SS5's life because she knows how much we love each other and he tells her the same thing about him having a mommy, a daddy, and a hayuh.

BM says shes been having really bad post partum depression with the baby and SS5. She feels guilty because she cant do everything she wants with SS5 she used to and she doesn't get to do things by herself just the two of them cause of the baby, and then she feels bad when somebody watches the baby so she can do something with SS5.

BM said that apparently her baby daddy has a few other baby mammas, and her baby is now baby #5 for the baby daddy. She said that the baby daddy was complaining because he has to pay $329 child support (nothing else, no daycare, medical, extras or anything) for one baby. And she asked him why he was complaining about that, because my SO has to pay 300 a month child support, and 69% of all bills (daycare and medical, and extra curricular activities are 50/50). He is paying child support on one other child, and has custody of two of his girls because there mom beat on them and was a drug addict. BM is upset because he says their baby means alot to him, but has never seen him, and doesn't plan to, and when he called to ask her if she had his baby cause he heard from somebody that she had, she asked if he wanted to know anything about the child, and he really didn't. She asked him if he wanted a picture if the baby and he said no. She started crying again and saying she wants him to have a father like SS5 does, because she knows how good of a Dad he is and doesn't want her new baby to feel bad about it.

I am actually holding her baby while she is talking because SS5 wanted me to hold his brother and because BM is crying. And I feel bad for the child. He really is a beautiful, innocent, little baby, who deserves a mother and a father. And for all of the horrible things BM has said and done, I feel a little sorry for her too. She lives in a house her mom bought her, drives a car that her mom bought her, uses a phone her mom pays for, has no friends,no job, and a new baby that has nobody else but her. I do not hate BM, at times I may have felt that way, but I truly wish that we could be friends and all get along (cheesy I know, but I do. I believe that SS5 needs a healthy and stable BM, and a parents who get along, and aren't fighting and try to work together (as much as possible, regarding boundaries with separate family units). I also believe that there are consequences for your actions, and that when you make your bed, you have to lye in it too. I do believe that she is starting to get some of her own and wishing that maybe she made a few different decisions. Karma's a bi**h.

So I feel both sorry for her, and a little relieved that her crap is finally coming around to bite her in the a*s! Not quite sure how to reconcile that. Lol.

We have mediation in a couple of weeks for the motion to modify, should be interesting to see how her new found attitude affects it.