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Mixed Feelings: BM Moving

helena_brass's picture

We've heard through the kids that BM gripes about not having enough money. FDH is always annoyed to hear this because BM rents a 3 bedroom house, and the rent is his entire CS payment. If she moved to a smaller place and managed her money more wisely she wouldn't need to go whining to her lawyer that FDH's CS isn't enough to support the kids.

Well, now BM is moving. Where to? Oh, next door to her BF. Why don't they just move in together? Because then CS could be reduced. But apparently the rent is the same as her rent for the house (I don't know if it's a comparable size or what). You know, I'm happy she's moving because the new place is in a better neighborhood for the kids, plus they'll qualify to attend a much sough-after public school. I'm just frustrated that her move is so strategic. I mean, she and her boyfriend been together for longer than BF and I, but the kids still refer to the guy as "mommy's friend." Isn't that unhealthy? There just seems to be something so dishonest about it. He seems to cover a lot of her expenses anyway (after all, the CS only covers her rent; I don't know where she gets money for groceries, kids' clothes, her clothes, car insurance, utilities, etc.), so why don't they just move in together? The only money she would lose would be for the rent anyway.

Maybe I'm just pissy for no reason because I'm PMSing. Overall, I think this is a good thing. And, even though it seems weird, I'm glad that BM isn't moving in with her BF. I don't like him, and I don't like the idea of him or his kids or his friends around the kids. I worry a lot now about the kids as teenagers. BM's boyfriend is a lot older than BM (50s), but he is very immature and runs a specialty body shop where all his 'friends' (employees) are these redneck kids in their early 20s. I don't think they're bad people necessarily, but they are VERY immature and like to do a lot of stupid things. I don't want FSD to get involved with them. I worry she'd go off track and maybe get in a relationship with one of them...maybe get knocked up? I don't know. Worst case scenario. And I don't want FSS to turn out like one of them. He has so much more that he's capable of, but he could easily be distracted by all the big trucks and man toys.

Yea, I dunno, mixed feelings.

Comments

helena_brass's picture

I think the way it works (and I'm not positive about this) is that if BM moves in with her BF her expenses will decrease because she will no longer need to pay rent/mortgage, as her BF owns his home. I think the court could take this into account and could lower CS as a result.

SteppingUp's picture

I agree with you that it's odd that she refers to him as her "friend". It's kind of got a strange vibe to it. I think that'd be more confusing for a kid to see a "friend" sleeping over or kissing her or something? They may get the wrong impression about what "friends" do.

I think it's hilarious (and along the same level of weird) that BM's latest boy toy is referred to as GrandmaBM's friend by the skids. I'm not sure if that's how they met or what...but he's BM's age so I don't understand that. And it's bizarre. "GrandmaBM's friend came over to Mommy's last night and spent the night." It just seems like yet another way that BM is not modeling good relationships for her kids.