I'm sorry if this is going to be long winded, but I have had a lot of issues over the past couple of years and I have a feeling they are going to become very difficult to deal with soon.

Background: I met my dh 2 1/2 years ago. Our relationship moved quickly. At the time, his kids had just turned 2. I met them a few months into our relationship. He had been separated for over a year. In that time, he had been giving his ex quite a bit of money and had lost his car to repossession. When I met him he did not have a car. No big deal...anyway, I would help out occasionally to bring him out with his kids when I could or lend him my car if I was busy. I thought I was doing a nice thing?? Moving on, about 6 months into our relationship, we decided to move closer to his job, which is over an hour away from them. I should also mention that I have a 10 year old son (at the time) and a small car...(important as the story goes on). When we moved, it was difficult to arrange spending time with his kids. For a year, my son was finishing school where we were living (didn't want to pull him out - he stayed with my mother), so he would visit on weekends - hence the issue of having all the kids in the car...it was difficult since skids were and are still in car seats. In addition, the cs issue now comes into play. Ex wanted $600 per week for childcare/medical/cs. The lawyers decided it would be $425. He of course does not make enough to pay that, so his job can only send $200 which he has tried to have modified and they will not change (now has brought him to $30,000 in arrears).

In the winter of 2008, my car started to have issues...and of course, we could not afford to fix them right away...it was definitely not safe to drive an hour and drive skids around...still not to mention the space issue. He asked the ex to bring them to us - she did once and only once. He barely saw them...maybe once every few months. He would call every night to speak to them, but rarely would get a call back. (I should also mention that he is not the biological father...they had a donor, but the marriage was on the outs prior to her pregnancy and only got worse from there - which is why he was gone before his kids turned 1). Moving on, we had a horrible house fire in May last year. Lost everything. Including our family dog. The ex (who would not drive skids to visit) took 2 hours from her day to drive by our house to make sure it had gone on fire. Then proceeded to leave a nasty voicemail that we all have problems. Of course, it was then even more difficult as we had no home to live in to see them...months went by again. Finally got a place and we had planned on having them stay over...they are 3 at the time and able to sleep in beds. We had the beds and a room upstairs. DH decides they will not be able to sleep alone upstairs. I keep trying to tell him it shouldn't be an issue...get a gate for the steps they will be fine. Anyway, with his work schedule it was impossible anyway, plus she would not drive them out. Now my younger son is living with us. He has some issues with the move, and its been tough. End of last year beginning of this year, my car loses heat...definitely not enough money to fix it...so, bundle up and do our best. Skids absolutely cannot be in the car...ex is pissed because no time is spent. She has also had choice things to say about me every chance she gets, white trash, etc...

The few times that I have spent time with skids in the 2 years I have known them, they are cute, but extremely disrespectful and unruly. Now, I have had 2 of my own kids and 15 nieces and nephews, so I'm not new to little ones...but these children say things like "I'll kick your a**, you're a pollock" etc...not good! I cannot stand it! They are extremely loud and no matter what you say, they get louder. I can only assume that is how they are allowed to act at home, therefore, that is how they will act anywhere. They have hit my son on several occasions and my DH is not thrilled with telling them to stop and overides me if I punish or say anything to them.

So, finally my issue, he is not allowed to drive them around because of his arrears, so I am expected to drive an hour away on my day off and either take them out for 6-7 hours (which we cannot afford - not to mention we have a dog at home that cannot be alone for that long) or drive there and pick them up and then bring them back later. On my day off. (Finally have a new car, but still not much room), my son really has nothing in coming with 4 year olds as he is about to turn 12. I do not really want to be around them because of their behavior. I'm at a loss. My DH has only seen them twice this whole year. His ex does not try to even make him a part of their life...she just wants her money and nothing more. Sadly, I don't know what to say or do anymore. My DH talked to the skids last night and they said they miss him, so now after 3 months he is saying he needs to see them. I guess my question is, is it my responsibility have him see his kids? Do I have to spend my day off driving all over to make sure of that? Do I have to spend time with them when I can't stand how they act? Do I have to subject myself to his nasty ex? HELP!!! I'm at the end of my rope! I can't even discuss this with my DH because I know it will hurt him....I'm lost!