I've taken a lot of my blogs down as AA, so I figured I would post my experiences and what I do when I disengage.

SD16 has been working, but then she has small stretches of days that she stays at our house. If you are interested in her antics on father's day you can look at my last blog.
http://steptalk.org/node/71426

I have been disengaged from her and SO's relationship with her. SS13, I have been engaged with. I drive SS13 to the gym and he stays the whole day. makes his lunch and snacks to take with him. He gets up when he should and we leave together. SO picks him up at the end of the day. SS helps around the house. SS engages in thoughtful conversation with me. SD, stays up until 5am-7am each night. Twitters/texts. Sleeps all day. Conversations with her are pointless. Its all about her, gossip or how stupid other people are. Dad will wait on her, cater to her, I will not.

Here are some things that have occurred with SD16 and my responses.

1. My hot air brush missing from bathroom. Found in SD16s room on the floor.
-- Hot air brush is now in my bedroom. Preparation: If she asks for it, I will tell her no. She can't use something that she can't put back and just leave on her floor.

2. SD wanted her cousin over for a couple of days (cause goodness knows her behavior has earned having a guest over :eyeroll:)
Dad has a long day at work then goes to the gym. He returns exhausted. I make myself scarce after greeting him. He doesn't even get a chance to sit down before SD is asking "When can we go get her???" SO abruptly "I don't know" She seems annoyed and goes to her room. Later comes back out and giggles telling her dad "well, I told her we would get her earlier, (giggle) I thought that you were coming home to go get her earlier". SO: "well you better text her and tell her its going to be later. I'm not making the trip then she's gone because she thought we weren't coming" SD pouts leaves room. Me: busy doing something else.

3. Morning, no milk in fridge. I started to run to the store, decided I can grab my own breakfast out. Not running out for SD and cousin to have milk when they get up at 2pm in the afternoon. SO tells me later that night "Oh SD called me and asked if I would go get her some milk tonight, they didn't have any today" Me getting warm fuzzy feeling for my actions.

4. Come home from work. SD and cousin sitting at table watching bridesmaids on the computer. Neither look up to say a word to me. I don't bother either. You acknowledge me first, not the other way around. Particularly if you are a guest staying in my home. How rude. Same day,
dishwasher with clean dishes full. Dirty dishes piled in sink. SS13 says "we should empty the dishwasher". I just say 'oh maybe later'. My thoughts: SD was home all day, she could have done it. I'm certainly not doing it so that I can then put her and cousins dirty dishes away. SO comes home a bit late, SO had to drive 3 hours to another town for work and come back the same day. He's been up since 3:30am. I didn't make dinner because of extra person (cousin) at the house. Kids were on their own for dinner. SO comes home and takes kids to eat. Asks me if I want to go. No thanks. At first, I wanted to, then I decided against it and I was right. Oh and as they are leaving, the first time SD talks to me that whole time she does it in front of daddy "Bye Helena". I'm in the other room, just said buy and that's it.

They took over an hour to eat at a buffet. This means SD got to talk all about herself for the whole time I'm sure. I'm glad I missed that. THEN we needed groceries (milk- remember) and of course SD needed movies for her and cousin to stay up all night and watch (wrong turn 4 and the grudge 3). So, after a later dinner and I'm sure her gabbing the whole time, SO has to come back home to get movies to return, take them to pick up new movies and go to grocery store. They got home about 10:30pm. I was in bed by 9 OOOH and those dishes SD and cousin made, well they were still in the sink. SO emptied the dishwasher and put the dishes away. It wasn't me Interestingly, there are a number of glasses missing though. Probably in her room. I will be leaving that one alone as well.

5. I did bitch once. When I got home from work both girls took long turns in the bathroom. Whatever. Figured showering. Well, I get up at midnight to pee as I do several times a night being pregnant and cousin is in the shower!!!! I had to walk to the basement to pee. That pisses me off especially when I'm half asleep and already have to walk down from the bedroom to the main floor to use the bathroom. I came up to the bedroom and told SO "I am so tired of those girls taking 50 showers a day. It a bathroom not a toy. They are always playing in there. I'm this close to telling them to stay out of the bathroom for the next 24 hours!!!!" SO calmly "Sorry babe" Whatever.