The easy solution to this particular situation is to block SD from Facebook and all other social media. And your phone. And your life.

You can keep your husband (if he is worth keeping) while ignoring his children, especially now that they are grown.

Don't talk to or about them. Ask your DH to not talk about them with you. Don't go to holidays at their home, and don't be home if they visit your husband.

Leaving is perfectly fine, too, but disengagement is an equally viable option.

I get it, totally get wanting to pack a suitcase and runaway.  I would advise you to think twice about giving everything to DH unless you already have your own house, car and furniture elsewhere.  Make sure you get what is yours or he buys you out.  Don't let a bad relationship with skids rob you of all your resources.  

I was too nice and way too giving when previous relationships ended and yes I regret it.  

Ok.. deep breaths here.  It is painfully obvious that this latest dust up is not the first issue you have had. I'm not sure why the solution is to throw in the towel.. and not sure why you think you have to at this point.  What did your husband do in this situation?

First though, I would like to give you a bit of constructive input on facebook.

1.  Block toxic people like your SD from your facebook.. FB is not something anyone needs to survive.. Set your privacy so that only your friends can see your posts.

2.  Stop "vaguebooking" this is posting a quote/meme/statement that causes users to wonder if you or someone you know has drama in your life.  "True love never Lies".. crap like that.. so have you been lied too.. etc.. You want to comiserate with a specific friend.. send them a direct message.

3.  Do not post things on FB about other people's relationship.. like your husband's.  THAT was what bothered the girl.  You were taking a dig at her mother.  She understandably was upset by seeing that on a public forum.  Yeah.. she's an adult and should "get over it".. but this was not something that was neccessary to post.. It's like when my DH's EX posted that the "divorce was not something she wanted..., not of her choosing".. I would have loved to post on her page that she absolutely had a part in why they divorced.. but what would that have accomplished?  nothing.. her harpy friends would still be her supporters.. who cares about them?

Finally, if you love your husband.. why are you not going to try to save your marriage?  his kids are adults right?  I mean how much daily are they around?  And.. if you DO split.. you should get an equitable share of the marital assets.. I don't know what that would be.. but get to a lawyer.

Believe me, I undersand the urge to run away from it all.. but our problems have a way of following us wherever we go.. running will not solve your problem.

I am certain that there is a LOT to your story. I too had that moment of "should I stay or should I go????"

A few months back I saw several lengthy texts to DH from Toxic Feral Eldest whereby me, the rude SM was to blame for them not having a relationship. So I was also ready to bolt, like you. She also falsley accused  DH of hitting her and munchkin SD12, but the crux of things is that evel CLove was to blame for all her problems, issues and personality disorders. It was that straw after 4.5 years of arguments, drama, blame shifting and all, that prompted me to say "enough is enough".

I think this every day, when faced with everthing. But I was asked to stay. By both Munchkin and DH. So, I stay.

You should def take other's advice. Breathe, think, take some time out, get a lawuer, get your ducks in a row. Dont leave all your assets. When the dust settles, dont be left in the cold. Also, perhaps you need some space. Doa  Temp leave of absence. Go on a trip or simply get a hotel room to yourself.

Stay with us!!!!!

So sorry to here what you are going thru! I've been dealing with this for 10 years! I finally blocked my SD! I listen alot to Joyce Meyer she really encourages me to press on!! I don't bring up issues to my DH anymore but vent with family and friends. Looks like my SD decisions have not been good so their relationship is not so good anymore. How us ur SD and DH relationship is you don't mind me asking?

It sounds like you need some space.  Why not get a hotel room alone somewhere rather nice (maybe not this weekend or next due to Valentine’s Day...) with spa facilities on DHs dime.  

Relax, take a few deep breaths and really think all your options through.

Write down what you want.  Out of life, the relationship, things you miss doing and things you want to do.  

It just seems like you’ve been struggling so long, you’ve lost the threads.  So as tempting as chucking it all and running, you will still be there with yourself. 

Why not figure out, then, what you want, what you’ll need to get to that, and who you want to do it with or without?

Be kind with yourself, and patient.  Don’t set yourself up for new pain down the road.

Hang in there!

when your blocked list is longer than your friends list.