resolution
Think I'm gonna invest in some good wine and just have a glass or two each day. talked with my husband and he want's to know whats wrong with me? SS was watching TV not doing chores when asked SS about it he went outside and called father told him completely different story than what had happened. I had already had a phone discussion with BD so he knew what I said to SS. He says I'm the adult and I need to make more effort but when I get up this morning he's been in our home office and a video game is strung out all over the floor and his room is disgusting with empty coke cans and candy wrappers in the floor along with dirty clothes which go in the hamper I purchased and put in his closet but I guess it's too much trouble. See getting worked up just talking about it. Need some wine come on 5:oo.....well at least post noon...
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Just curious...
How old is your SS? My BS stb 14 is terrible about that same stuff, and then gives me terrible attitude when I try to talk to him about it. It usually turns into me forcing him to do it, or I throw EVERYTHING on his floor in the trash.
Boys
If ss9 wants to have a pig sty of a room, I've decided to let him. If his Dad wants to tell him to clean it, thats his choice. I just make him keep the door closed. Recently he had a good friend over and the little boy made a comment about his room being a disaster, it really embarrased ss9. He still doesn't clean his room after being embarrased!!! The last time I cleaned it, I threw away everything on the floor (toys, trash, whatever was on the floor), and he cried, but nothing changed. We've even tried giving him allowance for cleaning his own room (yeah, it makes me sick, I didn't get allowance for doing any chores, lol, and my room was expected to be clean)!!! That didn't work either. Ill let him have his room, but I draw the line when he trashes the community spaces.
Close the door!!!!
Has worked for me. I was going insane looking at SD13 and SS11 rooms. Now the rule is bed must be made before school and floor picked up and shut your door. I don't check anymore to see if it is done. I can't open the door or my OCD will force me to clean the room. I was doing that and then they would mess it up again. I would get frustrated. Argue with DH. That has stopped completely. Too many other things to argue about!
Disengage from their rooms. I kept saying it was my house I can have a say what goes on in their room. But, I can't for my own sanity. Funny thing was we just hired a maid recently and told her to stay out of all the kids rooms. They were upset. But, I said if we are paying for her she will clean the rest of the house. If you want to contribute, she can clean your room. Not happening. They can clean their own room or learn to live in it. Hiring her stopped other arguments about me feeling like a maid when I got home from work. Now, I just have issues with disciplining.
Now my son is 14 and he is relatively clean, but seems to have issues with his dressar top being cluttered. That is a constant battle. Working on it daily with him. Good luck.
He is 18 and apparently was
He is 18 and apparently was allowed to run wild and live like this at his BM's house so he thinks life goes on here. I can keep the door closed but feel like he should respect this house. I don't think that this is asking for much 10 minutes of his day to keep peace in our house. Be an adult paying your own way and live like you want to...