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My question about step daughter

ilove2sing's picture

I have a question. My husband lets his daughter (my stepdaughter who is 5) stay up really late when she is visitn every other weekend. I have talked to him about setting a schedule because she needs rest and we need quiet time. He agrees but never follows through. I think it is her manipulation. Is this typical behavior for a divorced father?

Comments

ilove2sing's picture

And then when he finally puts her to bed... she begs him to stay there until she falls asleep... which could be several more hours. It just seems weird to me.

WindX's picture

Who says he has to do that? Why doesn't dad get a vote? SM just comes in and sets the rules no matter what?

starfish's picture

and there is that crazy occassion that BF & i agree:

"But look at it this way...it's four nights out of thirty.
I think you're still coming out ahead in the deal."

starfish's picture

singer, i'm sorry if i offended you, but why did you delete my comment.... i have no idea what could have been offensive about it.... totally your right to do so (it is your blog), i was just curious why..

ilove2sing's picture

Thank you for your apology... but in my opinion you were being condescending and i just didn't want any problems to start up.

I am unsure why you hate me already. But I wish you nothing but the best. Have great evening.

WindX's picture

Some people believe weekends are for relaxing the rules as far as bedtime and other home life stuff. Have you actually asked your husband what he thinks his daughter's sleep schedule should be for the weekend? It seems to me he is agreeing (verbally) to appease you but that he doesn't really see a problem with the routine.

I think it's typical behavior for any parent who doesn't feel their kid needs tight schedules on the weekend, not just divorced fathers.

Tx mommy of 3's picture

Do you only have her on weekends? dh and I have our own kids. During the weekends and school holidays we don't enforce a bedtime. Of course if we want alone time then yeah, we'll put them to bed. But usually we all stay up later inthe weekends. As far as sleeping with her, there are some other posts here about that.

ilove2sing's picture

We have the kids every other weekend. But he caters to her so much that his 15 year old son asked me when does he ever get to spend time with his Dad. His son says it is not fair and he feels forgotten.

She truly monpolizes all of his time. I know 5 year olds need attention... but at some point shouldn't he pay attention to his other kids?

mom2five's picture

I think if she were older, it wouldn't be a big deal. But 5 is still baby and she needs her sleep. Her mother would probably appreciate her having a bedtime while at your house, even if it's a little later than normal.

I think dads are sometimes not the best at understanding that. You said your DH is agreeable, right? What if you just stood up at 9pm (or whatever time) and said, "hey sweetie, I'll put her to bed tonight". Then he can go into her room and tuck her in after she's in bed.

kangaroo's picture

Routine bed times are important for all age kids. My kids had a school day bedtime and a weekend bedtime. If you let them stay up later on weekends there not up at the crack of dawn.

If he is allowing it, its not her fault, she is only 5.