I am a divorced mother of two children - son age 12 and daughter age 14. They are no saints, believe me. I am the first to admit they are spoiled and can be very hard to deal with. However, my bigger problem is my fiance has two children much younger - two girls ages 6 and 9. The 6 year old is his biological daughter, but the 9 year old is adopted. It is his ex wife's sister's child and they adopted her at age 3 months. My fiance has shared joint custody of these girls. He has them Tuesday evenings, Thursday evenings and almost every single weekend from Friday after work until Saturday evening around 8:30pm. I feel terrible but the 9 year old gets on my last nerve. She is very much ADHD and has some learning disabilities. She isn't disabled and attends a regular school but has the IQ of maybe 60. She has the most annoying, loud voice and just cannot be calm. From the moment she walks in the door, I cringe. My blood boils and I feel very agitated. I work full time and live for the weekends, but I can't even look forward to them because every weekend is consumed with his kids. They are very needy - they have trouble doing anything without the need of constant adult attention. She repeats herself constantly and even if you tell her the answer, she keeps asking over and over and over again...It's like nails on a chalkboard! I am to the point that when they pull up in the driveway, I just want to run and hide or leave the house. She is 9 years old - doesn't know how to ride a bike, can't tie her own shoes - asks for us to do the simplest things, even though she is COMPLETELY capable. She talks in baby talk a lot of the time and it's frustrating beyond belief. The neighbor kids think she is annoying and she doesn't have friends at school either. She even yells for my fiance to wipe her butt when she poops - when she CLEARLY is capable of doing this on her own! It is causing MAJOR arguments with my fiance and I. Did I mention we live together? My kids dislike her as well which makes it hard for me to keep them happy. They should feel at peace in their own home and not feel stressed out when the 9 year old is constantly in their face and annoying everyone. I need help. I need advise. My fiance is quick to defend her as I think he feels bad that he "bailed" on his marriage and left the girls with his ex wife the majority of the time. That is a whole other story! She doesn't bath them and dresses them in the most ill-fitting, ugly clothes possible. My fiance spends over $2,000 a month in child support - there is no excuse for these girls to look the way they do! I have postponed the wedding date 4 times now because I am concerned that this is never going to be corrected. I have nightmares that this 9 year old will forever live with us one day because nobody will be able to tolerate her as a wife and she wouldn't survive in the world on her own.