From half disengagement to full on now.
In case anyone looks, I was Bearcub25 until recently...old blogs are still there.\
Last fall, after 1st report cards came out, I got SD a cell phone, 7th grade, talk/text only. It was on my plan and DSO paid..so roughly $15/month. This allowed me to drop our Comcast phone at 35/month. I did it bc she was doing well, she did need one. I didn't add the data plan but planned to upgrade if she was responsible with this phone.
She dropped the phone down the stairs at school and completely killed it. So she then got one of our old slider phones...the ones that if you want to txt the letter S, you must hit the 7 key over and over. But it was that or $200 for another regular, non-data phone and that wasn't happening. Things happen and phones get dropped...plus I was planning on upgrading this fall at that point.
So for whatever reason SD and BM are arguing and SD throws the phone at BM and breaks it. Nice SD, really fucking nice.
Luckily, my DSO is a tightwad anyway, but things are tight financially, and some of that is bc of SD. SD went to the beach with her friends..DSO gave her $200. SD played softball on the other side of the county all summer...spent a ton of money in gas. SD has been to the ER or doctor every weekend in 4 weeks. Now I have been saying to DSO 'SD needs to come here and chill out and get over this crap she is catching, or don't let her go to her friends house where she keeps getting sick'. 1 of the doc visits were absolutely stupid....BM claims she was having chest pains and needed high blood pressure meds...it was a pulled muscle and another one that was BS.
SD is starting about school shopping. First off, she needs to go to BMs and her friends houses (twins that have divorced parents) and gather up all the shit she has left all over so we can go thru it and weed out the old and too small stuff....hasn't happened yet. DSO missed work last week bc of medical problems...he don't work, he don't get paid, so no paycheck last week.
I told SD and DSO this morning that I'm over it all. I spent the whole of last year trying my best to do things with and for SD...treating her like a normal 13yo...you know, clothes she likes, cell phone. All I have gotten is shit on and disrespected.
Complete disengagement as of today.
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Comments
Sounds like until she learns
Sounds like until she learns to take care of her things and can prove responsibility, she needs nothing else.
SO needs to get his finances in order so he can take care of his daughter. The fun age will be coming, 14 is the best /sarcasm/
Don't I know it. I have two
Don't I know it. I have two adult bios. They weren't perfect but they knew to take care of the things others bought them.
My 2 grandsons...11 & 4...don't break half the stuff SD and the two SS' have broken....DSO has full custody of SD.
DSO could get a better job but the hours he works now are best for him raising SD. A job he could have in a minute is with my brothers company, working with my DS. Only thing is, they work 10 hour days an hour away from where we live and they work 1 day on the weekend and holidays (I work 3 12hr days a week and sometimes a weekend day and always holidays for the pay). So I can't bitch about the money bc then I would be responsible for SD a lot of time.
DSO never says much about
DSO never says much about anything. She is at BMs and this happened while we were at the funeral home for his aunt. He has to pick her up tomorrow so he may say something then.
I told SD off a little bit on email from facebook. I then txted DSO and told him what I told her and he said Yep. I'm the one being Mom so I get to say how I feel.
See SD is playing a game, one that I caught onto. BM has absolutely nothing. Gets a small disability check. She lives in a house her SF owns, drives a car he owns. So SD likes living with DSO and I bc she has her own room with a TV, a tablet, gets to do band and sports and did have a cell phone.
So SD rubs it in BMs face that she gets things and gets to do things at Dads house...and I don't agree with that at all. BUT BM should at least do something for her kid once in a while so they deserve each other IMO.
4 days Atlantic City. I
4 days Atlantic City. I didn't think she should go w/o enuf money and rely on the friends' parents to pay for everything. She did bring back what was left and bought us all little souvenirs.
Like I stated, I have tried to allow her to have a 'normal' type of life...my DD went many times with her BFFs family. DSO can't afford a beach trip with the skids so it was a way she could finally go to the beach.
I already told DSO that he
I already told DSO that he was in charge of it now. I don't give a rats ass.