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ugh what do i do???

jaja512's picture

Ok so I have a 13 year old step daughter and she's had MANY boyfriends. She's in a after school program so she can get her homework done before she goes home. But I just found out she's not been going. And she's been meeting up with a boy in high school and idk how to tell her dad help I need so answers...

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Auteur's picture

This all depends on how biodad has reacted in the past about "bad news." I'd be willing to bet the ranch that she has exhibited other negative behaviour before now. How did it go over when you talked about it then?

If biodad is your standard guilty biodad, he'll just excuse it or pretend not to know (see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil). Or he could turn it around and get defensive "since WHEN are you MY KID'S guardian?" Even IF you ARE the child's guardian and he has custody!!

jaja512's picture

I've known her for along time and she was very sweet at first tell I started seeing her dad then she did a complete turn around just recently she's telling friends at school that im beating her and that her dad is not in love with me hes in love with someone ealse.. and telling her grandma that I don't allow her to take baths ect. And her mother died 10 years ago and she was 3 when she died and she remembers more of her mother then her father does. And I'm sorry a 3 year old don't remember that much of someone at such a young age.

Auteur's picture

"How do you know she's meeting the boy?"

One guess. . .FAAAACE BOOOOOOOK

These kids post every burp and bowel movement on their FB accounts.

skylarksms's picture

First thing I would do is get her in to get the BC shot STAT.

Some people feel like this is just giving them permission to have sex. I disagree. I think that, if you face reality, she probably IS having sex or will shortly and ANYTHING that can crack down on the children raising children phenomenon HAS to be good, right??

My SD got preggo not three months after her 16th birthday. BM had already sent a bill to DH for having her tested for all types of STDs and had her on the pill. I guess for SOME reason BM thought that a teen irresponsible enough to have unprotected sex WAS responsible enough to take a pill every day!

oneoffour's picture

Just tell him.. :"Hun, SD has not being going to her afterschool program we are paying for but meeting a highschool boy. I am not happy. Deal with it before I do. You have been a highschool boy, you tell ME what he is thinking! Highschool boys do not hang with 13 yr olds because they like watching iCarly together!"

jaja512's picture

Yes Facebook lol she has know idea I have her user name and password but I feel bad for invading her privacy but she's showing signs of a sexually active kid. And she is just 13 she's had I would say 20 boyfriend from the 4th grade to the 7th

jaja512's picture

Her dad is crazy about her he don't do a whole lot with her cause she is has a cell phone now and she's the type were she's never satisfied.

herewegoagain's picture

I think young girls are promisuous because DAD hasn't kicked their ASS!

Ommy's picture

Personally I would print everything off. Change her pass word so she cant log on and delete it and say you made it up.

I would sit him down and flat out tell him if it isnt stopped now there will be bigger problems.

Also I would also have him march her happy ass down to the doctor (if low income call planned parenthood) and she would be put on birth control. I go to planned parenthood still I pay $40 for a year supply of birth control. I have also been on it since I was 12 because of health reasons, there is no shame with putting a teen on birth control it shows that you know they WILL have sex one way or another and that YOU are being a responsible parent and ensuring that your daughters (or SD's) life is not ruined because of an unplanned teen pregnancy.

skylarksms's picture

BUT DON'T EXPECT HER TO TAKE THE PILL EVERY DAY. Some television shows and other teens have glamorized single teen moms to the point where they WANT to have kids at a young age!!

Ommy's picture

that is why you do the shot, patch (you can physically see it on them everyday), or implant in the arm.