Competition about kids
So if anyone read my previous blogs there was one that included how SD7 was constantly standing up on her chair at dinner. Well I took her chair away so she got to stand for dinner a couple nights ago and she magically has been able to sit like a human since then. DH completely backed me up on it and when he saw her standing goes "looks like you weren't sitting nicely on your chair" and she starts to whine that she forgot and he cuts her off right away and says no you didnt.
So that was a victory BUT a few minutes after that I hear him say to my son to move his chair closer to the table like a big boy. The chair wasnt even far away its just such a narrow space behind it that you have to push the chair in for anyone to get past. That's an issue whenever anyone is sitting there and not DS fault. I'm pretty sure he said it just because SD had gotten in trouble for standing up on her chair and he wanted to be able to say well he does it too.
This makes me think that my feelings that he doesnt like to discipline SD in front of me because he doesnt want me to notice shes misbehaving are correct. I dont really see why he would feel the need to do that when I also get after my son and not her for things on a regular basis.
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I feel your frustration. I
I feel your frustration. I think this is that guilty daddy BS. I have noticed any time I mention something that SD does that needs worked on SO ramps up his discipline on my kid because he just can't stand to only discipline his child...or maybe to show SD that she isn't the only one getting reprimanded?!?! IDK but it is a jacked up way of thinking and I call my SO out on that crap.
Ugh...i forgot! Bullcrap. So
Ugh...i forgot! Bullcrap. So sick of hearing that. I dont even eat dinner or participate in evenings with the skids. Let DH deal with them. He created the monsters.
Im also sick of the your kids do it too shit. My kids are grown and moved out so what they did as children before I met DH doeant matter now
Happens here, too
If a skid does something that’s not okay there’s either a “but the kid did this totally unrelated thing” as a reason they are a good kid and there should be no consequence. (‘Cause stepparents think any one issue is a reason to assume the kid is completely terrible.) Or “but your kid did this totally unrelated and not equivalent bad thing.”
DH doesn’t say much about the skids lately but I think it’s because he doesn’t know much of what they are up to. I say this because BS has told me some things, good things, about each skid that I’m positive DH would mention to me if he knew since he is competitive.
And I can tell if things are going south with a skid as DH starts finding fault with my BS.
Like when it was acceptable
Like when it was acceptable when we bust the 11 yr old lying & taking devices from people so he can watch porn. Any device he can get his hands on even a 5 year old cousin's kindle is a porn hub for him but we let that slide cuz after we took his devices & computer away "he read a book & played outside, it's like he's a different kid".
5 year old's mom was pretty pissed cuz now he gets pop ups for porn
I think I would have jumped
I think I would have jumped in and told DH that I would take care of correcting my son. Then secretly slipped SD the evil glare so she would know I was on to her still and not get to comfortable.
You are trying to change things at your home and sometimes you need to put people on notice where the boundaries are again. If you have to do that in front of the kids, oh well, IMO They need to know who is in charge of who. If DH comes at you later about it, just look at him silently and wait for him to keep talking. Someitmes they need to hear themselves talk out loud before the get it.
natural concequenses. let DH
natural concequenses. let DH parent his child. no more tit for tat. sucks to be the kids. let her fall off chair and if your son copies her, tell him to sit down in his chair or hes going to fall.