I'd like to wear a sign that says SHES NOT MINE when we go out in public
We went to chuck e cheese for ODS bday last night. Of course there was all the usual attention seeking. Theres one of those little tiny carousels there meant for kids probably up to about age 3 - my 17 month old fit on it perfectly.
SD decides to ride on it and clearly thinks shes the most adorable, funniest thing ever. The whole time shes looking around with this smirk on her face and her nose up in the air and it's obvious she thinks everyone there is watching her and thinking how cute and amazing she is. Heres what I dont get - DH hasn't given her excessive attention for dumb things (with the exception of a rare screw up here and there) for a long time now. I never have. Random people in public don't at all and even back when she was around 4 to 5 it was rare. But even when shes just out riding her bike or something she thinks everyone is watching and admiring. Literally no one was looking at her on the carousel but she thought they all were. And she also thinks everyone is jealous of her for no reason. It's just weird. Its gotta be coming from BM?
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Do you know this is what she
Do you know this is what she's really thinking? Or is this how you are inferring everything she does because you can't stand her?
I know that's how I felt about Spawn, looking back now I can see where some of her crap was over the top attention seeking and other stuff wasn't, but it felt that way because I could not stand her.
Its obvious from the way shes
Its obvious from the way shes looking around to see who is watching and the facial expressions and occasionally she will say something that confirms that's what shes thinking. Shes flat out says she thinks other people are jealous of her when theres no basis for her to think that. I'm not the only person that's noticed it either but I have to be around her more than most people so yeah I get more annoyed by it.
Since I know your SD is like
Since I know your SD is like a little mini version of mine it is usually pretty obvious when they are expecting attention and seeking it. Mine still does crap like this at 12 :/ Even my ODS (also 12) complains about how annoying she is trying to get attention constantly at EVERY visit/event/etc. It is always over the top behavior.
Yeah I think it's pretty
Yeah I think it's pretty obvious when people are attention seeking if you know them even fairly well. It's totally different when you have to deal with it constantly then if it's just an acquaintance you see once in awhile. I mean I get people's perspectives because I'd probably say the same thing if I had never dealt with it that closely, but you know what it's like when it's all the time.
ODS has attempted to copy some of her behaviors recently and I don't like it when he does it either.
I'm glad that my ODS does not
I'm glad that my ODS does not try to copy SD's behaviors. I would put an end to that quick. Actually my ODS is constantly telling me to keep YDS away from SD b/c he doesn't want him learning her super annoying behaviors.
Yeah I'm hoping mine will
Yeah I'm hoping mine will start to see that as he gets older. And yeah the behaviors do get stopped right away, but it irritates me that I even have to deal with it when I know where it came from
SD decides to ride on it and
SD decides to ride on it and clearly thinks shes the most adorable, funniest thing ever.
I wouldn’t put too much thought on SD thinking she’s “the most adorable, funniest thing ever”. If she does that’s ok and if she feels everyone is looking at her no big deal. You don’t know what she’s thinking and if it makes her feel better, so be it. Just focus on your little one and don’t give too much energy on SD seeking attention since you’re not giving her any, not your issue.
The thing that's exhausting
The thing that's exhausting with attention seeking is it also takes energy to actively ignore it.
I know Jcksjj~wish there were
I know Jcksjj~wish there were a way you can just block it all.
Right? If only it were like
Right? If only it were like Facebook and I could just press a button and see none of it.
That sucks. It could be from
That sucks. It could be from mom or it could be she was born that way. It will never change.
SS18 is like that. He would hang around us as the adults and chime in with off topic shit about himself. He would always brag about himself or material things he had. It was embarrassing. He still does it. He was a bench player on his HS football team that was undefeated and would always brag “yeah my team is undefeated “. I was like “boy, you never even fucking play!”
Lol! SD does the same thing.
Lol! SD does the same thing. I had a friend over once and she sat right inbetween us and kept throwing random things into the conversation when the conversation topic was completely over her head. I was like what are you doing? DH says its because her mom brings her with to hang out with her friends. Okay well my mom usually took us with to visit her friends also and we usually went and played while the adults talked.
Exactly. I get that the kid
Exactly. I get that the kid just wants to be accepted and to fit in. But he needs to learn this is NOT the way to make that happen.
I’m okay with kids hanging out with the adults (for a little while). It teaches them maturity and how to converse but they can’t be assholes.
Why doesn't anyone ever
Why doesn't anyone ever parent anymore?!?
My stern Irish mother would have pulled me off of the toddler's ride, told me to behave myself or I'd be sitting in the car, and reminded me that the world doesn't revolve around me.
Where was SD's dad during this? Why didn't you redirect her to a more age appropriate activity?
All children start out selfish and self absorbed. It's the job of parents to teach them empathy, consideration for others, manners, etc. Does your partner understand that it's his duty to parent his daughter and be a teacher to her?
DH was helping my one year
DH was helping my one year old on a different ride. I had my hands full with the 2 month old and even if I didnt I'm done with parenting her for her parents.
Let's make signs like that
Let's make signs like that and sell them on step parent websites. We'll be rich!
I think we need t-shirts.
I think we need t-shirts. Not signs! LOL! I would totally rock a t-shirt that say's "she's not mine, I'm just the SM, don't blame me" every time I went somewhere with SD. I do make sure to correct anyone that refers to her as my daughter. Nope, I'm not her mom, just the SM!!!! I do not want to claim that. I will gladly claim my boys though!
Funny story- SD LOVES to tell
Funny story- SD LOVES to tell people right away that I'm not her mom. When we were at the pool one day this girl said something about my kids and I having an unusual combination of dark hair and light blue eyes and then that SD had the opposite. SD right away goes well shes not my mom though (nvm that the other 2 kids are related to her) and the girl goes well yeah I can see that and starts detailing how SD basically has completely opposite features of me. No idea why, but for some reason the longer she talked the more SD got pissed. Interesting since shes usually the one jumping to make sure people know I'm not her mom. I'm assuming it's because there wasnt any compliments involved or "you're so much more beautiful than your stepmom"
Also alot of times people will comment on us having all boys and not even realize that SD is with us because she looks so different.
I'd still take a t shirt that said that for sure though just to make sure theres never that mistake though. SD can have a matching one that says shes not my mom. Like the ones that say I'm with stupid with the hand pointing to the person next to them.
That is a beautiful
That is a beautiful combination and exotic, light eyes and dark hair.
(No subject)
My SD was like Stuart on
My SD was like Stuart on MADtv (who’s also a COD) no joke. DH even did impressions of her “Look at me! Look at what I can do!”. She turned into the most condescending braggart of a teen. People come up to me, very concerned about her behavior, and I just point to DH. Not my kid.
Lol I didnt realize he was a
Lol I didnt realize he was a COD, I only vaguely remember that character. I'll have to watch some clips now. My SD also likes the can YOU do this I can do this and then gets disappointed when others can also do things and she didnt get the validation of being special and unique.
I luv me some Stuart! So
I luv me some Stuart! So twisted and dysfunctional.
Okay I just watched the
Okay I just watched the Stuart Goes to School one on YouTube... yep hes a skid