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Stupid selfish post

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Sun, 09/06/2020 - 7:15pm

SD comes back tmrw after being gone for 3 weeks. Which always sucks. Its just nicer when she's not here. But I'm feeling kind of down for a dumb reason too. I just got a new puppy 2 weeks ago. Partially to help with my PPD/PPA. And, well, I dont want to deal with the passive aggressiveness that I know is probably coming with SD wanting it to be her dog and hers alone. Anyone who knows my SD knows that anything that is hers is hers, and anything that isn't hers is also hers. Possessions, attention, etc. That also extends to animals. DH had a puppy when I first met him and SD has to have the dog only sleep in her room, loves to boss it around and doesn't want anyone else to give her commands and generally it's the same as everything else- she views the dog as hers and hers alone. Which is whatever, DH already had the dog when I met him, I'm not super attached to her so I don't really care. The attitude and SD jumping whenever someone gives the dog a command to take over annoys me, but not deeply. However, this dog I'm already very attached to - and tbh as stupid as it sounds I just don't want to share it with her. 

ETA: Yep, as soon as she came in the door it was all about the dog. I gave her a few minutes and then said "why don't you go give the other dog some attention." DH got all huffy and defensive.

Comments

GrudgingSM's picture

Submitted by GrudgingSM on Sun, 09/06/2020 - 7:28pm

"Suck it, SD!" Okay, that's not what I'd actually say, but I would vocalize your boundary about it being your dog and reinforce it.  If you're attached to the pup, he's probably attached to you. And even if a puppy revels in the attention your SD tries to give it, she'll also go away and you can further cement your bond with the dog. 

The_Upgrade's picture

Submitted by The_Upgrade on Sun, 09/06/2020 - 8:20pm

Also, that dog belongs to whoever's footing the vet bills. Can't see your SD sticking her hand up for that honour. 

LostinSpaceandTime's picture

Submitted by LostinSpaceandTime on Sun, 09/06/2020 - 8:54pm

Your dog is your dog.  Tell SD to leave it alone. 
 

I am super annoyed with my DH and have a massive tension headache migraine. Today while we are in the middle of a project at home he says out of the blue that his DD and GKids are visiting our area for the day.  They live several hours away.  The GKids want to come by and see our dogs.  
 

Not that they want to come see their granddad. Not that they want to give some reasonable notice they were going to be in the area. Not that they want to attempt to reconcile with me who the DD has been estranged from for eight years. I have never even met the younger GKid.  
 

It triggers my PTSD so bad for them to roll up anywhere near my house 'to see my dogs'.  And this time they actually got out of the car and walked all thru the yard with DH and the dogs. Next they will be wanting to come in and visit. 
 

Did anyone even ask if I was still alive? No. They would prefer I not exist.  
I feel like if I have no relationship with them and do not exist to them then my dogs should not either.  
 

It will be a fight with DH because he just does not get it.  Like I should just get over it.  
It is so annoying to me that he is this way.  I think next time they call up out of the blue to come see the dogs I am going to go load my dogs in the car and take a long drive. I will bring their dinner and stay gone without answering the phone from DH. Maybe then he will get how upsetting it is to me for these Dd's (3) to roll up at my house with barely any notice to visit the dogs.  Our dogs are not aggressive, but they are reactive and he does not really know how to handle them and make sure they do not get over threshold. 
Maybe if I leave with the dogs he will get the message.  A nice drive would be better than a migraine.  

so I understand totally about your dog being your dog.  

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Mon, 09/07/2020 - 2:28am

" I am going to go load my dogs in the car and take a long drive"

That's exactly what I was going to suggest! They're your dogs and nobody asked your optino so do what you feel like doing to enjoy your day. Can you take them to the beach? Or on a hike? Let them run around and get tons of fresh air. Just think how much more good that will do them than being stuck at home in the fetid presence of the Weird Sisters.