I've noticed this through the years, with my previous spouse and now...anytime the kid/kids misbehaved mom is the first one the finger is pointed at...why is this? EXP...my SS gets in trouble alot at school so i made it a plan to make sure the teacher has my husband's cell on file for him and not me because im tired of getting an EAR FULL ...so she writes notes. This particular note set me off...im not sure if my SS is lying or not..but he gave me a note and said the teacher said give this to your mom. This teacher has never met me and doesnt know our home or living situation or that im his SM. The note immediatly infuriated me...it went along the lines of...Can you please help him with his homework, it is not being completed correctly, its important that you are helping him when he needs it etc etc etc. So now it's MY fault. Unfortunately i stopped helping him with his homework because he throws tantrums falls on the floor, kicks at me and acts like he cant talk or walk when i make him sound out words and draw stick figures to help him with his counting...basically after i CALMED down..i wrote her a note stating just that and also stating that i refuse to do his work for him..i actually want him to LEARN something. I am the same way with my 9 yr old. So today i got a note back basically she apologized stating that she didnt know that we were having behavioral issues at home. WELL now she knows and thats what she gets for assuming :O I told my husband about the note the other day and his response was...i'll help him from now on if you want...my response was ' THAT's NOT THE POINT". He gave my SS a talking to about listening to me..maybe it will help maybe it wont :?