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jermadmai's picture

Submitted by jermadmai on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 10:29am

This is a rather long story, but hopefully I can get some good advice! I was married b/4 for 8 yrs, we have 4 children together. We got a divorce 3yrs ago and I married an old boyfriend from my younger highschool years and moved to south dakota to be with him and closer to my family. We hadnt seen each other in 10yrs and he wasent the nicest to me back in the days(granted we were young) he actually dumped me for his first wife, which made a lot of conflict between me and her. He use to switch back and forth to each of us when we were young, but we both have changed and he is really good and loving to me and to my kids! I'm having a very hard time w/this, his ex is everywhere we go, she calls him all the time and I have this horrible thought in my head that since he left me for her b/4 he will do it again. I for sure have lack of trust in him and our relationship, even though he is so good to me. I hate living in this small town, I'm a quiet person and don't put myself out there so its been really hard to find friends. I grew up in a small town so I know how it works and I moved in to HER territory! I just don't feel comfortable here. My husband loves living here, he has the home he always wants, close to his kids, loves his job and has alot of friends. He just doesnt understand where I'm coming from. I don't want to loose him but I want to be happy! We have a total of 8 kids together, 2 are his, 4 our mine and 2 together and they all get along really well. I don't think I will ever get along w/her and feel comfortable around her, we have always hated each other, ever since we were young and now I'm married to her ex(the man we use to fight over in school) bad deal! We have the best relationship and marriage until she comes around and then I just shut down! I'm scared he still loves her(even though they had a bad marriage) I mean he did choose her first over me! I don't want to end our marriage, but I don't want to feel this way anymore! I was in a bad marriage for 8 yrs and I dont want to be unhappy again for another 8yrs.

Comments

Unfreakingreal's picture

Submitted by Unfreakingreal on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 11:05am

Uugghhh sounds awful. I don't even know what to tell you. You should have known that you'd be having these feelings of insecurity. If I know anything about catty women, I can tell you that even if she doesn't want him back, she'll probably screw him just to spite you. Talk about stepping back into High School. So sorry you're going thru this.

Done WIth It's picture

Submitted by Done WIth It on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 11:16am

yeah, he made a real bad mistake and the mistake is still in town. The mistake makes herself present to see her rival now helping to take care of her kids. She has no choice, hope she doesn't have a problem with that. I'm sure those Miss Mistake's kids like you.

Your fears will get you nowhere but being unhealthy. What has happened has happened. The only thing that can change here is your attitude. Work on enjoying what you have and what you're doing. Life is going to happen whether you're worried or happy, so try your best for a positive outlook. Keep your chin up and shoulders back. Live for what you have today.

I know, and I suspect a lot of others here know, what you're going through. Be strong and be brave. DOn't go back to those old hurtful memories and just be a lovely presence. Especially when the ol' Miss Mistake is around.