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Hypothetical question

Jlbfinch's picture

Let's say that you're a teacher in a nice school district and every year at Christmas you get a few hundred dollars worth of gift cards from parents. Would you happily share them with your spouse? I have a friend who complains every year that her DH is stingy with all the gift cards he gets at school. They have a joint account that both their paychecks go into but she is the higher earner.

Comments

uofarkchick's picture

Yep.

hereiam's picture

I would share and I know my DH would share with me. Hell, he's probably give them all to me!

Salems Lot's picture

I think it depends on the store the cards are from.
Restaurants, grocery stores and businesses where things that are normally shared or done as a couple then yes. Book stores, art supply stores or other personal interest stores or businesses that the spouse that received the cards for, then no.
I received a $100 hardware store card once. I handed it over to my SO...

Jlbfinch's picture

I really don't know but she has gotten Christmas bonuses before that benefitted both of them.

twoviewpoints's picture

My spouse would not think of asking me to share my Christmas gifts. I'm going to assume if this teacher received men's cologne, aftershave, initialed hankies his spouse would'nt want part. I'll also assume if this teacher got a $50 gift card to , say, Red Lobster he'd dine out with his spouse paying for her dinner.

However , if the guy got a bunch of $15-$25 gift cards to Barnes n Noble, fast food joints/Starbucks and a few generic visa cards, as his wife I'd expect him to just enjoy his treats. The man faced a classroom of *shivers* children , all day five days a week...he's earned a Big Mac and Peppermint Latte along with a good book.

BethAnne's picture

If I received the cards I might share them depending on if they are for places we might go together or if he would use them. I might use them to buy household items in which case he would benifit too. Or if there was something that I really wanted but couldn't justify otherwise I might get it for myself. We usually discuss purchases together.

If my husband got them I would want him to enjoy the gifts and use them to get himself something special it to treat himself.

fakemommy's picture

I wouldn't necessarily not share, but I would probably end up using most of it for myself. When I get gift cards through work, I mostly use them, but they are small. When I got $100 from my old boss every year, my DH encouraged me to get something for myself, but if we needed the money or I wanted to do a nicer date, I would not keep it for myself.

ESMOD's picture

These are gifts to him. Does she share gifts that are given to her by her family members?

Maybe a dinner gift certificate. But otherwise, he should get to keep what he gets. I imagine he spends more than that out of his salary for school supplies.

This sort of falls into the land of petty score keeping that usually spells disaster for a relationship.

hereiam's picture

Even if not shared, I can't imagine DH or I complaining about it. If it was a gift to him, it's his, it wouldn't bother me. He would have every right to do with it what he wishes.

notsobad's picture

I'm not sure how to ask this, but how does she know what he's gotten?

Are they out for coffee and he uses a gift card to pay for his and expects her to pay for her own drink?

Does he come home and show her the gift cards, then when she suggests using one of them he says no, they're mine?

DH and I share gift cards, he just got a couple from Tim Hortons for his birthday and he's used them up on things for both of us. However, he didn't tell me he'd gotten them till we were in the drive thru and I was digging for change to pay.

Jlbfinch's picture

I think he shows them to her but she also knows that he's going to get gifts from students and for the past few years it's been a gift card tree.

InNeedOfGuidance12's picture

Depends on the gift card & the amount. I get a nice size grocery store gift card for Thanksgiving, I use it to buy household groceries. My husband gets Amazon gift cards for Christmas & he gives them to me to use throughout the year on things we need. If it was to a gas station or McDonalds I would expect him to just use them.

Edited to add: I'm the breadwinner. He makes almost half of what I make.

sunshinex's picture

It depends. DH and I share everything but we have an agreement where gift cards, bonuses from work, money that's gifted or casino winnings don't go into the shared pot! I often get fairy big bonuses from work and DH is just happy I'm getting appreciated for everything I do for the company.

Last bonus I bought some very, very expensive designer shoes and spent the last bit of it on us as a couple. I also once won around 1400 at the casino and spent about half of it shopping than spent the other half on fun things for both of us. I think people in relationships sharing everything deserve to have a lil something for themselves!

My DH is always happy for me and I'd be happy for him in such a situation. I would however think it was an it strange if he got a lump sum of money and didn't naturally want to share a bit with me because I always enjoy sharing some with him! It's always more fun to share the wealth Smile

mommadukes2015's picture

In the rare event I get a gift card from a family (I'm a social worker and the majority of my clients are poor and I totally don't expect it-I would rather they not worry about me) it's usually to a coffee shop and you'd better believe that sucker is mine. SO has a lunch and coffee allowance lumped in with his weekly gas allowance (I do the budget) which generally leaves me peanuts. So in the off chance I can grab a good coffee-not a McD's $1 coffee mid-day in the feild you'd better believe I'm hoarding that sucker. He's diva-lish all week every week.

mommadukes2015's picture

And on that same note-If I had multiple gift cards to a restaurants id want to spend a meal talking with my best friend too and not have to feel like turd for it. In Lady Language we call it "me time".

Cooooookies's picture

I would share but DH wouldn't expect me to. Just because it's a denomination in the form of a little plastic card, doesn't mean it's mandatory share time. If it was a pair of socks or a shirt or aftershave for men, it wouldn't be shared, right? Same difference. It's his gifts and he can do what he likes with them. He taught all year, he earned the gifts so he gets to spend them.

Acratopotes's picture

Tell your friend to split finances immediately..... no joint account.

She does not share her company gifts why should he share his? it's his to do with what he wants, she has no say over it.
Our company gives us every year wonderful gifts.....this year we got vouchers, SO immediately said we should combine and buy something for us, I laughed and said NO.... you use your voucher on what ever and I will use mine as I see fit... we both used it to buy the other one's gift hahahahaha

still learning's picture

I would likely spend them all on myself. Stopping by starbucks every morning before work, out to lunch with co-workers, and so on. Whoever they were given to fully deserves to enjoy them.

Ladystark's picture

We share. He normally gives them to me to hold, because he will never remember them.

The only one he would not share is starbucks!! Lol I prolly would not share Chick-fil-A!!

I feel like there is another reason for their "not sharing".

If she is the money earner, is she on him about what he buys? Or micro manages? That could cause him to hold back on sharing. Like -"I have these so I won't hear about what I bought later"... ??