Does the lieing ever stop??
A little background: I have a SS who is 11 I have known him since he was 4 months old. I have always been here for him I have helped raise him and have always done whatever he needs. As he has gotten older he has started lieing to his mom about me. Every time he comes over and his dad is not here he goes home and tells her some lie about something I have done or said to him. Now just so you understand his mother is also a known liar. She lies almost ever time she speaks. It is like she doesn't know how to tell the truth. So of course my SS has grown up seeing her lie so now he has picked up the lieing. So what do I do? He goes and tells his mom I refuse to get him hair cuts, that I call him a liar, that I say all these awful things to him and I DO NOT say them. I do not know what to do. If this continues I do not think me and my husband will make it becuase I cannot stand to be questioned about every little thing I say or do with him. Does anyone have any solutions that may help? Please help!!!
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My advice is to never allow
My advice is to never allow yourself to be left alone with this child again. Make sure your DH is close by at all times that way this kid can't play the her words against mine card....
I agree...Dont ever be left
I agree...Dont ever be left alone. Explain to your husband that you are taking yourself out of the problem and if that means that BM has to have him longer in the afternoon, or that your husband needs to find new transportation it has to happen. Doing this may piss him off but it is better that he see you are trying to find something that works better for his son then always questioning the way you are towards his son.
good luck
I have tried telling him that
I have tried telling him that I do not want to be left alone with my SS and all that does is cause more problems between us. I have made that suggestion 2 or 3 times and it ends up my husband saying if I can't handle his BS then we shouldn't be together. I just don't know I'm at a loss!!
if my husband ever told me
if my husband ever told me this, i'd tell him you're right and pack his bags.
Just to clarify -- your DH
Just to clarify -- your DH believes his son each and every time over you? Or is DH wise to the fibbing?
Get a small personal video
Get a small personal video recorder that you can wear around your neck
The DH is wise to the
The DH is wise to the fibbing. But he does nothing to make it stop. So ever time my SS goes home within an hour I am under investigation as to what was said when he was here. Its very I dunno something! It makes me feel like I am a bad person and I know I'm not.
I have made that suggestion 2
I have made that suggestion 2 or 3 times and it ends up my husband saying if I can't handle his BS then we shouldn't be together
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Wow...what is it with these men these days with the threats! I would tell him that you can handle it but you CHOOSE not to. Oh and tell him to f off for me!!!! GAH!!
See the BM wants us all three
See the BM wants us all three to sit down with my SS and talk about why he lies, but what will happen I KNOW is it will turn into a SM BASH!!! I am scared to death to sit down and talk with the BM beacasue she is crazy and who knows what she might do. She has had the cops called on her many times for domestic abuse with her 18 year old daughter and I do not want or need drama like that. I have tried telling my husband to sit down and talk with him and he just doesn't ever do it. I just found out today that we will have him for this 5 day weekend and now I am so bummed. I feel like I have to walk on egg shells when he is around and I hate that I do not want to feel that way during the holiday. I guess I'm going to have to just WOMAN up and sit down with all of them and talk it out and PRAY they don't turn on me!!
DONT DO IT!!!! Trust me I
DONT DO IT!!!!
Trust me I went on a double date with BM and her BF thanks to my FDH it was awful. It is not your kid=not your problem.
Your husband can talk to him with out you there. the lying has nothing to do with you the parents need to work out a punishment.
My skids don't lie about me
My skids don't lie about me but I have had them lie to me. When my SD lies to me I refuse to do whatever the next nice thing I was planning to do for her. I tell her that I don't want to do nice things to / for people who lie to me...that I wouldn't keep a friendship with a friend who lied to me. I want her to experience consequences for lying.
It sounds to me like your SS doesn't have any consequences from DH. Your DH needs to take control of the situation and teach his son that lying is not acceptable and will not by tolerated. My FDH punishes his kids double for lying...original punishment for whatever they did and another punishment if they lie about it. Your DH needs to be very vigilent since SS has the influence of his BM working against him.
No, you don't have to sit
No, you don't have to sit down with them at all. They can all eff off. Your DH and his ex are this kids ' parents, THEY need to parent him. Tell DH in no uncertain terms that you WILL NOT be left alone with his son. Look at it this way- what if he says you hurt him and BM sics the cops on you? It's not a matter of "handling" his kid, your DH has you all turned around, Jnae. You have to look out for YOURSELF at this point.