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We are getting divorced .....

Journey0601's picture

Submitted by Journey0601 on Wed, 01/09/2019 - 7:26pm

So I havent posted in a bit, many here have encouraged me to leave my husband.... well after my brother’s wedding and the way the holidays went I knew my life would continue to be hell with my emotionally abusive narcissistic husband and I finally had the courage to end it.... we have been separated for a week now, living under the same roof... How evil he really is, has become clear.... he doesn’t work and is demanding I pay for an apartment for him once we sell the house... I think he will also go for majority custody of our baby....I started a new job this week, so won’t be seeing my lawyer until next week....but he is trying to control everything... I went from love to hate... things had been going well with SD.... but I also am relieved to have a future with peace! I have zero plans for a relationship,,, I will take this next year to finalize the divorce, focus on my new job and my children... but at least with my next relationship,,if he has  kids? I will. Know what to look for.....  so I won’t be here anymore as I am no longer a step mom...all the best everyone 

Comments

CANYOUHELP's picture

Submitted by CANYOUHELP on Wed, 01/09/2019 - 7:59pm

You are so wise to remove yourself from this type of man and this situation. Try to get space away from him as soon as possible.  Tape record any abusive conversations and if they are nasty enough consider legal action to have him ousted. You need to be on guard at this time and document his behavior as well. Only do not say a word, be completely covert. Stay away until you can get away. Ignore his threats, but record them.....

You life will improve, in the future find a man without all this enmeshment.....I am certain you will...:-),Congrats for taking the leep for your future happiness.

 

Journey0601's picture

Submitted by Journey0601 on Wed, 01/09/2019 - 8:55pm

he won’t leave And the house is in my name and I pay all the bills...luckily he leaves when I am home...he thinks he can get so much from me, but legally he can’t...I will be getting the house ready to sell... it’s going to be hard right now, but I know it will get better...

TrueNorth77's picture

Submitted by TrueNorth77 on Wed, 01/09/2019 - 9:12pm

I’m so sorry this happened, but glad you realized you needed to get out. I thought in your last blog DH had gotten a job, what happened with that? 

You should pay for a place for him...ha! Orrr he could get a damn job!

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Wed, 01/09/2019 - 9:27pm

Right? He wants you to pay for an apartment? What is he thinking he is going to do for food, cleaning supplies, etc.?

Why isn't he working, for how long hasn't he been working and how long have you been married? Is there a chance he could get spousal support?

 

Journey0601's picture

Submitted by Journey0601 on Thu, 01/10/2019 - 5:37am

Has run a “busines” for the 3.3 years I have known him... it barely makes anything.... we have only been married for 2.3 yrs... my lawyer said he won’t get spousal.... but he will try to get primary custody of the baby and go after child support.... I will fight him tooth and nail before that happens

Journey0601's picture

Submitted by Journey0601 on Thu, 01/10/2019 - 5:35am

was so bad at the job, that if he hadn’t used my company car for free gas, he only would have made $3/hr... I didn’t want him using my car.. but he wouldn’t listen... I have a new job and car allowance instead and am driving a rental until I buy a new one and he can’t touch any of it 

StepUltimate's picture

Submitted by StepUltimate on Thu, 01/10/2019 - 8:41am

...and RELIEVED. It was very disconcerting to read your blogs - that guy is a scary SUPERCREEP.

Praying for your safety, serenity, and effective extraction from that parasite. 

Indigo's picture

Submitted by Indigo on Thu, 01/10/2019 - 9:15am

I like to follow your journey, tbh. You have a lot to share & I appreciate your perspective. Interestingly I am currently struggling with a boss situation that involves a similar type of person.

Good luck

disrestep's picture

Submitted by disrestep on Thu, 01/10/2019 - 1:55pm

So sorry you are going through this. Your husband sounds like a jerk.

If you have been in your house for some time and you pay all the bills and it is in your name, keep any bank statements, paid bill receipts, house maintenance receipts, grocery receipts, mortgage and tax payment receipts, whatever you can to show you have paid for everything and he contributed nothing. Bring these to your attorney. In a prior life, I paid mostly all of the bills, house was in my name and my ex was a jerk. He also couldn't afford an attorney. I was awarded the house, as I worked hard for it and wasn't about to lose my home and start all over. I believe these judges and attorneys realize some guys are losers and will try and go after whatever they can when they are bitter during a divorce, to make an extra buck they never earned or deserved. 

If you have been in that house longer than him, they should not force you to sell it if you don't want to if you paid for everything and it's in your name. Get a good attorney who knows the rules. I know each state is different and laws may of changed since. But, it seems only fair, if he didn't contribute anything, how can expect anything is coming to him.

If he threatens you or is mean, try and record it, call the police if you feel unsafe, tell him to leave and tell the police you asked him to leave and he will not.

take care of yourself and your little ones.  

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Thu, 01/10/2019 - 2:51pm

Still lots of good advice to be had and support!  

Repeat after me:  Never again a man with children!  I don't care how old they are knowing what I know now I would NEVER date a man who had a previously enjoyed family!  Staying single is FAAARRRR better!