DH saw the lawyer and has added SD15 to the modification. I have no idea of the terminology on this. SS13 wants to be here, SD15 doesn't and since they never finished the last case with SD15 suing us to live with BM, it is now being all added together. DH feels since he is about to spend all this money for SS to live with us, he might as well add SD. Since she is so out of control it would be better for her here. BM and SD will freak out when this comes out on Thursday. DH and the lawyers agree that it may force her to let SS go. SD15 hates us and will want no part of living here.

We have discussed it several times now and he seems to understand that it will be hell if she comes here. It may be a long shot, but if she does, it will really be awful. I am willing to try this for three months. If she is absolutely a terror and it doesn't seem like we can break her, I will move out with BS16. I swear this sounds like something that has to be done to these kids that go into a cult. She has had free reign since she walked out May 2009. Before that for two years BM undermined any parenting that DH was trying to do. BM is never home, the kid has a sleepover every other night best we can figure from Facebook. BM works a lot and frankly could care less. In the last month, we have heard of several instances of laws she was breaking in our town. She has bleached her hair white from brunette. BM allowed piercing of cartilidge at the top of the ear. We had said 18 when she was living with us. She is on boyfriend number 5 at least. We have had friends tell us they know she is sexually active. She was dating a popular senior and he was bragging about it.

Countless stories and Facebook pics and postings have caused DH and I to be very afraid of who she is becoming. I do think if we get her, we can possibly fix her as long as BM has only occasional visitation. Do I think a judge will see it the way we do, NO. But, if a conservative judge gets this and doesn't agree with BM's parenting, we could possibly get her.

I am willing to continue being married to my husband and just live somewhere else if this happens. I never thought I would consider this type of marriage. I spent years single after my husband died and I don't really want to do it again. But, I will not subject my son or myself to her manipulation and misery. Trust me after what she has put us through, DH is planning on making her miserable.

He has said she will be grounded immediately. He will make sure the hair color is reversed and the earring comes out. Her life will be awful. No phone, no internet. She has to come into this very humble for him not to impose this stuff.

I just want SS13, I do not want this child. I am more than happy to have DH and her have regular visitation, just do not include the rest of us. I am the one that kept pushing him to ask for it. He wanted it to be on her terms. That has not worked out since BM has undermined it at every turn. He has seen his daughter about 4 times since she left. It is really sad. DH didn't push it and still hasn't. I thought he should insist on something in the document that they worked out at the mediator. No rather than do that, now we want to go for full custody.

I know I can do this. I am in a better place than I was when we moved in together before the wedding. I did not understand the hell we were in. Know I understand what are my problems and what aren't. I am willing to get involved this time. As long as he backs me up. First sign that that is not happening, I am gone. I am financially stable and have a house that eventually I can move the tenant out of. I do not need him other than emotionally. What I do not need is a child in my life that is disrespectful and manipulative.

My idea of parenting and his are close, but not as close as I would like. I would want to know where she is going and what she is doing all the time. I would expect some chores. The last time she was grounded here for lying, she was miserable and she made the rest of us miserable.

I am hoping that since she is 15 we won't get her. But, since BM has screwed up the last year, that may be my own fantasy. Has anyone heard of a Judge changing custody at this age, even if the child doesn't want it? That kid is not stupid and she knows if she lives here she will have no freedom. She is not going to like this.